#he feels more grounded to me compared to the others mostly because i've been able to think through his characterization a lot more

[pastel-rights]

I LOVE your art style! How did you came up with it?

huh? my art style??? uhhh, i mean i uhhhh if you want, i can explain how I got to this point but. sometimes, things just. happen yknow???

honestly my old art compared to the more recent of what I've done probably looks. very very jarring side by side since it looks like it was drawn by completely different people lol. For example, look at this early 2017 character concept verse a late (November) 2024 character concept.

It's. Definitely a lot to take in so uhm. Buckle up! [cue a heavy metal version of bye-bye-bye playing for atmosphere reasons]

So, I've been drawing as a hobby since about... 2009 give or take? However, the earliest art I have on hand is probably from... 2016 or 2015 tbh??? Although, I only really started keeping a fr fr log of my art from 2019 and onwards so, let's start with what I actually have to show.

It's all about the basics, anon!

Growing up, my art was inspired by the shows I watched growing up! in particular, shows like "Codename: Kids Next Door" and "Tom and Jerry" were my rock in childhood times (since I wasn't allowed to watch Spongebob until I was much older and a majority of my "childhood" tv shows didn't start airing until later in my life, like Bubble Guppies (which aired in 2011) and Team Umizoomi and Octonauts (which both released in 2010) which, by then, the television was run by my younger brother's needs mostly, and I didn't get a say.)

So, I guess you could say my art was inspired by those two shows mostly???? of course, not... fully? hold on let me show you guys the earliest art I have to work with here-

these are all from 2019 since it's the furthest back I was able to save my art but. Looking at it, it doesn't look like it was inspired in the way artists are normally inspired by their environment. At least, that's not how it feels to me.

my art at this point was very... a lot of it was traditional in comparison to now, for starters. The color grades are completely off, the lining is. interesting. A lot of one shot one result type of shenanigans. Of course, it shares its origin with my childhood entertainment in general, which is being very cartoonish in style! On traditional grounds, I fucked around with a lot of different methods, some just pencil, some with markers, blah blah blah yada yada yada.

which, character design is my passion /ref if you couldn't tell. but my art style has always been very cartoonish and stylized, even in my earliest days. Big eyes, wild hair styles, noodly limbs, you know, the cartoonist hallmarks! If nothing else, my art style is more reflective of who I am as a person?? like the cartoons that formed me, it's very expressive and full of color and whimsy and in its own way, it's my way of thanking the world that taught me happiness and joy, and I draw to give others that same feeling.

Whether that be my friends' OCs or silly shitposts, I draw for the joy others get seeing it! Here look at this picture of my friend (@sxftriina)'s OC, Ocean, I draw way way back when lol

...

but at some point, I realized. My art didn't make me happy anymore. I didn't have fun drawing anymore. and it just became more of a chore to make than a fun hobby or a good time. I couldn't find the joy in art anymore. And I couldn't create anything I was proud of either.

I got stuck. It didn't matter what I drew, what things I tried. I couldn't make myself happy again. and while my art might not have suffered.

I did.

art was nothing more than a chore. something I had to do because I wasn't good for anything else.

and it made me severely depressed, among other things happening during those times.

so what does a burnt out depressed artist do in crisis times??????????

...

he joins tumblr, of course.

I wish I was joking. I'm not.

anyways so it was like 4am and I was like "let me join tumblr why the hell not maybe I'll find something there" and uhm. well I didn't find anything initially. and every day was as depressing as the last, and I eventually just. felt like giving up. I ran an askblog and drew a ton still because while it made me unhappy, I felt unhappier just. doing nothing. Lesser of two evils I suppose?

that was until I uh. I met someone really special to me. Even now.

if you're reading this, uh. hi lupi!

This was around the time I found Identity Five at the end of 2020, and began drawing fanart for the game, which restored... some joy to art? Not completely, but, I wasn't so miserable drawing during this time of my life. It felt like a chore still, but, at least now I was having some semblance of fun doing it. Not completely fun though... I was still stuck in a funk. I didn't know why.

And then, I met Lupi. At the time, she was following me through her askblog account (she still does) and I got curious and decided to check it out for myself and. I think if I never checked out Lupi's blog that day, my art wouldn't have taken the direction it did, and, I would have never regained my love for my craft.

Of course, I feel silly even talking about it so... I took a different direction with my art after scrolling through Lupi's art, which sometimes I'll do, even to this day just for fun sake. And this time... I don't know.

It just felt different this time. It wasn't the best, and it certainly wasn't easy either. But for the first time in over a year... I had genuine fun drawing again. No negative feelings attached.

Just... fun.

A lot of fun at that. A lot of things from this era of my style stuck. Like... a looooot. My color choices, my mini style, the flow, a lot of what I learned from this era stuck with me, even now.

it retains so much of the past yet it means so much more. it's still cartoonish, still small and squashed, funky hairstyles, noodle limbs, fun clothing... the whole nine yards.

Of course... this is only 2021 art. My art now, while similar... it's not the same. And it's all thanks to ONE RED HAIRED MOTHERFUCKER. not ginger, red haired. apples are red, not orange. /ref

It was the first time in. several years that I've drawn something just for me. Even if it was something small and silly while waiting for an after-school activity to start. It was something I remember really fondly, a feeling that wasn't just fun but. actual joy.

Not only that but, for as simple as it is, it marked the start of a very, very... very long long of stylization like never before. You take what makes you happy... piece by piece, bit by bit...

you learn... you grow... you improve upon skills you have... body language, expression, detail... all those things. You meet some really cool people along the way... you talk, you laugh, you cry.

you get inspired and you want to show them something new, something cool... and in doing so, you make something you never thought was possible. Not with your skills, and not in a million years.

But, you learn. you laugh. you watch. you grow.

you figure out what you like. cool colors, fun dynamics, shading, lighting, storylines... things like that. you inspire others, and those people inspire you in turn.

you learn some cool new poses, you draw some fun fanart for your friends aus, you try new things and those end up sticking.

sometimes it's just you and one other person, who stuck through, watching you draw until a piece's very end. because they like you for you. and they care. sometimes they never leave your side, and they continue to inspire you to this very day.

you have fun with what youre doing. there's not really any need to rush, you know? you look at new media, you talk to the people you care about the most, you make things to surprise them with. and they're happy. and you're happy.

and you want to keep drawing.

but you can't forget to draw for yourself sometimes. something just for you that others can enjoy, but, it wasn't made for others. it was made because you love yourself and you deserve something special. it's important to draw what you want for yourself.

and sometimes, it becomes your staple.

you put your best foot forward, you give it everything you've got! because it's not a chore. it's fun. it's a hobby.

and it makes you happy. your art becomes recognizable, people compliment it and enjoy its presence. even in passing.

...

I love my art style too, anon. i know its been a long while of me talking. telling my story, my experience with my art. how it built me. how it ruined me. and how I found myself again.

I didn't know how to answer your question when I first got this ask.

Because, I didn't know how I came up with it. In my mind, it just happened. But, I think I have an answer for you now.

For real this time.

My art style is a culmination of everything and everyone I love. Navi, Pins, Beth, Yuu, Tae, Klai, Joe, Rina, Lupi, Four, pretty much everyone I surround myself with on a day to day basis. Bit by bit, piece by piece, my art style is fueled by the love I have for my friends.

Every improvement over the years has all been so I can show them something fun, something new. So I can keep surprising them with each new piece I do.

But, it's not just my friends.

It's you too, anon. Whoever you are. Wherever you are. Every like, every reblog, every comment and compliment. Every ask, every live reaction.

Thank you.

Thank you for helping me find my joy again. I hope I didn't disappoint.

[fourswords]

starting sketching out light and like. HES 12??? like I get it- he's about to be 13- And knight is the oldest at a grand total of 15 but like-

BRO DOESNT EVEN HAVE AN ATTENTION SPAN YET???

like I know they're dumb in the manga but 😭 every 12-13 year old I've ever met is like a certified dumpster fire, which you might wanna consider in his character lmso

but I just feel like after the manga it wouldn't even matter that he saved Hyrule, he's just getting grounded until he's a legal adult 😭

like azure THATS A BABY- Aint no way he's smart enough to have even survived half the manga even with his dumb luck!

im crying please add like one year to all their ages im on my hands and knees is your goal to give this tiny child some form of PTSD because he is IN CONSTANT DANGER.children need to have a sense of safety (and their stupidity doesn't count, blue got swallowed alive and frozen, vio was lying to SAVE HIS LIFE, green was straight up about to kill vio and had to deal with attacking another knight, and couldn't bring himself to attack their own dad, and then red got chased by an angry mob and then lost all will to LIVE with blue in that one temple-) 12 is barely even conscious and self aware 😭

like I know 12 year olds have complex emotions and can handle abstract concepts and start getting into deeper moral understanding- but my human of earth the self awareness is either ONE THOUSAND OR ZERO AND THERE ISNT A BETWEEN AT THAT AGE-

im sorry if I sound rude or something btw I'm mostly just joking and I tend to overdramatize for comedic effect but I genuinely cant wrap my head around him being just 12- like at least 14??? maybe bump knight to 16 while ur at it? ?

also I'm gonna figure out some way to incorporate the different colors into his hat probably, its big so its like a bag lol since in the manga blue just shoved his whole hammer in there I'm pretty sure

smithy will be extremely small without complaint.

feel free not to take my words seriously tho lol I just cant imagine a 12 year old going thru the manga, like look me in the eyes and tell me a 12 year old-

if I misunderstood anything lmk lol I am a lil stupid sometimes

HAHAHA YES HE IS IN FACT TWELVE. The Legend of Zelda is a series that's all about "yeah let's hand this child a sword and let him go nuts" (to use a popular example, BOTW Link being canonically handed a sword at age four and is said in Mipha's diary to have been able to best grown men in fights: "At the request of Hyrule's king, a group of outsiders came to greet us at the domain. One of them was a Hylian child of only about four years of age. His name was Link. He made quite a first impression. He was curious and full of energy, with a ready smile. Are all Hylian children that way? One thing that surely sets him apart is his swordsmanship, which I hear is exceptional. He has even bested adults. He must be somewhat reckless, however, as he was covered in bruises.") and I absolutely intend to lean into that as much as possible. Light's age comes mainly from comparing Akira Himekawa's designs for Links of varying ages side-by-side with each other; for example, you have Minish Cap Link, who's very obviously drawn like a young child:

You have Twilight Princess Link and Ocarina of Time Link, both drawn to look like older teenagers (and we know OOT Link's older age is 16-17 depending on who you ask):

We have Skyward Sword Prequel Link, who is a fully-fledged adult (his other panels illustrate the difference more sharply, but this is what he looks like, so):

And then we have FSA Link in the manga, who is drawn to be VERY visibly younger than OOT, TP and SS Prequel Link, but is definitely visibly older than MC Link (he's got the rounder face + eyes, the shorter stature, and it becomes even more visible when compared to the knights in the FSA manga itself):

His maturity level also does, to me, match that of an average 12-year-old nepo baby (which he really kind of is)—kid who thinks he knows everything & that he's hot shit but is kind of a giant train wreck internally.

All three Four Sword heroes prior to him were explicitly stated to be "young boys", and FSA manga Link is really no different in that regard—in the context of my own AU, he's actually the one who went on his adventure at the oldest age (with Smithy going on his around 8-9, Four going on his at 10, and Knight now going on his at 11). It's just been a shorter time since his adventure than it has been for the others ^^;

[flowersandbirdsflyingfree]

Hiii ✨️ I saw your idea for a character pep-talk and thought it was a wonderful idea! I've been having a hard time recently myself and I've been missing Dempsey like crazy..

My character is Primis Dempsey of course 🩷

Anyways, I'm a 20 y/o redhead. I'm fairly tall, which I'm kinda insecure about.. I tend to wear lots of frilly floral dresses. I like the cosy cottagecore vibe. I'm generally very shy and tend to keep quiet most of the time, but I can be very bubbly around people I'm comfortable with. I love to create, mostly writing, drawing, and painting, and I take pride in my work. However, I tend to worry that sometimes my will to be very quiet is such a negative thing as it often deters people from sticking around. Sometimes, I isolate myself when I'm feeling such low self-esteem as a way of keeping out of others' way, and I fear that my communication skills would only make it hard to explain it all...

Anyways I hope this is okay. Almost feel like I vented too much... Feel free to ignore this if I kinda got the idea wrong...

Hope you're well 🩷 I love your work. Keep it up!

I greatly appreciate this my friendly anon! I'm glad my writing brings you joy. Let’s get you and Tank Dempsey back on the road, shall we?💖💖💖

How could he not love such a darling?! Your cottagecore vibes are so refreshingly genuine. You’re beautiful in the way the sun melts a soft yet radiant glow over the horizon. The way flowers bloom after the coarse, blustery months of winter. An epiphany that there is still a beacon of hope in this world worth protecting. And that hope is you.

The balance between your bubbly persona and shyer self has him magnetically drawn towards you. He's always wanted someone like you in his life, yet worried he was too brutish and clumsy to be able to impress you. Once he confessed, he was pleasantly surprised to know that you felt the same way.

Tank didn't expect himself to have your gentleness grace his life in such a beautiful way. He's more appreciative of life because of you. He rarely ever talks about the things that keeps him up at night, but the little picnics you two had on a meadow have been so special to him. He hopes every soft kiss he plants on you shows appreciation for helping him ground more.

There's nothing wrong with being quiet at all! He finds your presence speaks more volume in a comforting way. You both work as an opposites attract dynamic. Others compare you as the sun and the moon, coming together to prepare a breathtaking eclipse.

Tank will respect if you ever need time to recharge energy in your own space. But he always finds ways to show you he cares. He's a patient man that loves you just the way you are. He will drop off gifts or try to call you on the telephone for check-ins.

If you two are living in together, he tells you that he would always welcome you in open arms if you ever need his strong arms to hold you close to him.

Believe me, Tank's highest valued trait is his loyalty. He's your ride or die for life. And he knows you're a very good woman who's there for him too. You've made such an effort to be there for him in his own hardships. Have peace in your heart knowing he loves you so much.

[johnono]

1, 5, 8, 13, 20 (for the ask game ^^)

thank you for the ask Maki!!

what are you transaddicted to?

pretty much every drug under the sun. but mostly heroin, weed, alcohol, and cigarettes

5. how did you realise you're a transdrugaddict/why did you choose this identity?

well this was actually the first transid of mine that I realised (besides transgender). I spent a whole lot of time battling my cravings for drugs and feeling like I am an addict even if conventionally I wasn't, and then I stumbled upon the rqc and was excited to find a word for it

8. what drugs have you tried? (if any)

alcohol (it counts), weed, mushrooms, and valium

13. if anything was possible, what would be your ultimate transition goals in regards to your transaddiction?

I mean ig I would get addicted to everything I really wanna get addicted to including heroin, and then I would get sober because that's my goal no matter what addiction I transition to because I'm a transrecoveringaddict. but I shan't ever be completely "recovered"

20. free question to infodump about whatever!!

y'know what? following on from what I said in my last post about Gabor Maté, let me give you an example of his theory in action (content warning I'm talking about death and other childhood trauma):

so me in my last life (as in John Lennon) had a pretty traumatic childhood like y'know I didn't get all the loving I needed because my father abandoned me and then my very strict aunt took me from my mother and then my nice uncle died and then my mother died. so by Gabor Maté's theory, I would not have all that brain development which would make it self-sufficient. so pretty much as soon as I got my hands on some drugs, I just went all-in. and in deep did I go, from chain-smoking to drinking to cope to pep pills every day to weed every day to acid every day to heroin every day. Yoko, too, had a traumatic childhood because she grew up in the war and often didn't have any food. and she was also addicted to heroin. and why? because they made us feel normal, or they felt like the hug that we really needed and didn't get as kids. that's what I've heard a lot of heroin addicts say,, heroin feels like a warm hug

Paul McCartney, on the other hand, had a pretty nice childhood. his family was very loving and spent lots of time together, although his mother died when he was a teen so it wasn't trauma-free (plus experiencing beatlemania (in our early 20s) was traumatic too). but his brain would have been more self-sufficient than mine, so he never was much interested in drugs, except weed (he probably was and still is the biggest stoner of us all). he also never had much difficulty recovering from his "addictions", like he used a lot of coke for a year and then just went "hmm this isn't particularly fun, I'll stop" and then he just stopped and didn't look back. like that just wouldn't be plausible to someone like me, like even if a drug wasn't fun (like heroin) I would still do it because I just need it, and recovering is hard. also Paul literally did heroin one time but decided he didn't like it and never tried it again (they say all it takes to get addicted to heroin is to try it once). I'm sure he was addicted to cigarettes, and maybe to weed, and it could be argued he's a workaholic (which yes can be a genuine addiction), but suffice to say he's had a pretty easy time when it comes to addiction compared to me (or Ringo, who also had a very traumatic childhood), especially in a time like the 60s, and I think it has a lot to do with his childhood

I also wanna add that I got better, as in by the end of my life I wasn't using anything (except cigarettes and I think weed). and I was able to achieve that because mentally I got better. I did (primal scream) therapy and I got a bit of a break from the fame for 5 years to just spend time looking after my kid and baking bread, which was grounding, and that's what I needed to get my hug. maybe if I'd lived longer I could've gotten even better

[joannerowling]

Entirely blaming @denmark-street for being possessed by Daiyu's ghost last night (spoilers beneath, for context i'm only at chapter 30, yes i'm aware many of you have already finished the book! this is mostly to sort my thoughts out, but feel free to look and have a chuckle if you already know the end :p)

ok so:

I'm 100% sure and was before last night's convo with denmark and ssdc that there's at least *one* person, possibly more, aiding in Mazu and Jonathan's "true spirit" tricks. These conveniently only happen on Church ground (temple in London, Chapman Farm so far), suggesting the newest buildings have mechanisms worked into their construction. With Mazu being revealed as "trained" or at the very least interested early on in magic via her uncle, this is basically confirmed in my book.

That being said, *before* the buildings were built it would have been much harder to pull convincing tricks, even with the commune being exhausted and hungry and psychologically abused at all time. This suggests the presence of at least one "magician's assistant" - oldest trick in the world is to have an accomplice in the crowd of onlookers to divert attention, or to pull strings unseen.

(Now… denmark suggested that Daiyu's body might never have been found because her death was faked and that theory is so enticing to me ngl. She appears to people so often, especially compared to the other "prophets", wouldn't this be the perfect explanation as to why? If she's alive and acting as a ghost (maybe actually believing herself to be one?), she WOULD be a very useful "magician assistant" for Mazu and Wace. Juridically untraceable, since she's officially dead, able to haunt the cult's escapees to the point they'd kill themselves by appearing at night in Chapman Farm or to stand in people's windows. It doesn't help that Mazu and Wace had a good motive to make Daiyu "disappear" - Graves's inheritance, which would have gone to Daiyu, who would have been taken by the Graves's family after the DNA test confirmed she was his child.

It does sound a tad too far-fetched for the Strike books, which are usually grounded - immediate practical questions arise such as: how would Daiyu escape notice? Maybe she lives abroad most of the time, but she'd still be recognised sooner or later. By the time the story takes place, she'd be 27 or 28, a far cry from the 7 years old girl who drowned, which is both useful to use a fake identity, but would make her ghosting harder and harder to pull as years go by… Although, the last sighting of Daiyu we hear of is in 2006-7, when Flora Brewster was sure she'd seen her after talking about the UHC to a journalist. With proper make-up and her targets being already out of her mind and scared of her, i'd say it's possible for a 17 yo Daiyu to have convincingly haunted Flora. Wasn't she described as a tall child?)

Other things:

"Pigs". I really don't think that what Mazu did to Abigail and co is what Kevin was referring to when he wrote it on his wall. He would have been what, 3 or 4 in 1995? I just think there's more to this.

(… Man-eating pigs. I've said it.)

Andersen was either one of the Aylmerton's pedophiliac crew who escaped prosecution like Coates (i'm very inclined to think so or that he was at least fine with all the "free love" going on), murdered, or both. I'm leaning both atm. He was there since the very beginning so he knew a lot, and Wace and Mazu probably found it inconvenient. I think Wace is a sadist who would greatly enjoy invoking Andersen's memory and using him in his motivational speeches (either as an example to follow or not follow, we already have two versions), knowing full well that he got rid of him.

The one person's death i believe was genuine suicide was Graves's. It would kinda cheapen the fear that Will will do the same if forcibly liberated, if it weren't.

Lin, Deirdre's child, is the kid Robin saw, which i suspect will come up soon enough (she's the right age, has blonde hair like Deirdre and "dark blue eyes" like Wace: it's a match).

I don't think Deirdre was "expelled" because she wrote she was raped by Wace in her journal. Even if she did write it, the UHC just doesn't let people go that easily. At the same time, i don't know what she could have done/seen that would convince Wace and Mazu to let her go instead of just killing her. It's not like they're not capable - Flora said she witnessed someone being killed. That would have been when she was at Chapman Farm, between 2002 and 2007. Could be either MCB (the "golden prophet") or, if she's dead, Deirdre.

Cherie's name might actually be Cheryl like Abigail thought she remembered, and it's why Strike and Robin can't find her.

Not many thoughts about Jordan-the-teenager. I think Paul will be a dead end - Sheila said "he wasn't right", so possibly mentally ill, his testimony might be useless… but might also not be (it's Strike after all, the disabled often play a crucial role). It's just that we already have so many characters testifying, i wonder if one more wouldn't make things too easy for Strike and his seems to easiest to chuck out.

[doberbutts]

Well I don't necessarily disagree that there are points within Mizu's story that are super relatable to trans fems, my disagreement is that she is more relatable to a trans fem than to a trans masc. I think both have reason to feel very seen when watching her journey, sometimes for similar reasons even.

In fact, many justifications for all of these posts talking about Mizu's gender and what it could or couldn't be do usually point to the same scenes, but different lines of dialogue within them. Almost everyone points to her marriage to Mikio, likely because that is the most on-the-nose metaphor we have and where we see her being directly compared to both men and women. But I find most of these discussions point to a specific line instead of an entire scene or the episode as a whole.

We see Mizu trying to find happiness in her arranged marriage and succeeding to a point before suffering heartbreaking betrayal. Many of the women [none of whom have been trans women, as said this is not coming from trans fems at all that I've seen] have said that Mizu was happy to be Mikio's wife and enjoyed being a woman. And while I don't think this is a necessarily incorrect interpretation, I think it also needs a "...but-" statement added to it.

Because... she didn't seem happy to me until she was able to find common ground with him, mostly over things that 1600s Japan considers a man's role. She was frustrated with cooking and with household chores. She was frustrated that she couldn't measure up to the standards he expected of a proper wife. She stopped with the makeup almost immediately and only went back to it after he snapped at her. She bonded with him learning to tame and then ride the horse. Learning to throw knives to cut peaches*. Discussing swordplay. Then she was happy, being allowed to occupy a more masculine role in her marriage, feeling safe that she was allowed to express herself in a way that was more comfortable and more natural to her. She still sucked at cooking, and cleaning, and all the other "wife" duties, but it didn't matter, because she trusted that he loved her anyway.

Where we see her happiest is in combat with him, having torn her kimono so she can move the way she needs to, completely overpowering him. She's not trying to be "a woman" in that scene. She's just being her truest self. Whatever gender that's supposed to be. She shed the tight cage that she's been confined to, to let her spirit shine, and almost immediately after has to stuff herself back into that cage.**

Another point to this that many folks who say that Mizu can't be trans masc is that conversation she has with Mikio after their first time together. When he asks "you wanted to be a man?" and she responds "I had to, in order to survive". And that is where I think a lot of connection to trans fems comes from- because that's the most basic explanation of boymoding I've ever heard. The interpretation is that she's a woman who has been forced to be a man in order to survive in a world that is actively hostile towards her, where it is extremely unsafe for her to even stop and consider her own womanhood, and so she remains a man to the outside world so that she doesn't get killed. Yeah, that's a pretty strong connection to trans femininity, and also a pretty strong connection to how many mixed race women and women of color feel to oppression that degrades them and refuses to acknowledge their womanhood.

The problem I have with saying that that's solid proof that she can't be trans masc is that that's also how many trans mascs feel about their own relationship with gender. Not all trans mascs are binary men, and even binary trans men can have complicated feelings about whether they are women or men. When you look through a historical lens as well, you will see many people throughout history who could have gone either way discussion both their womanhood and their manhood in similar manners. You even see cis people discussing their gender this way to this day because gender is often very messy and not quite so clear-cut as people want it to be.

But I also think that it's just as important to continue watching this scene and the one following, because Mikio immediately responds with "I want to see all of you"- implying that the wife's face that Mizu's been showing him isn't actually her whole truth. And it's not. We know that, having watched several episodes leading up to this, that the Mizu we're currently seeing in the flashback vs the Mizu we've been following are very different people while still being the same person.

And, when Mizu shows him "all of [her]", that person occupies both "ronin" and "bride" simultaneously. She is his beautiful and happy beloved wife. She is also a fierce warrior many times his better. The ripping of the kimono to let her legs move freely is also symbolic- she tears away the parts of "wife" that chafe and restrict her, taking a man's stance, a man's place, a man's own weapon, and proves herself to be a better man than her cisgender husband who vastly underestimated her and who becomes angry when seeing that she has honestly been humoring him this entire time.

He spits "monster" at her in her triumph and a lot of the interpretation is that he is humiliated and angry to have been bested by a woman, and I think that is partially true. But I also see his shock that she really is that much better, *his realization that her lack of skill with the knife throwing, her inability to ride Kai in a manner that keeps up with him, is because she has been letting him think that he's the more skilled one. I see his disgust when he realizes "all of you" is far more than he ever bargained for.

And I remember the first time I dated someone who thought what he was getting was a femboy or at most a woman badly pantomiming manhood, and being shocked and displeased to discover what he was getting was... me. I was too much of a man for him. I was more of a man than he was in many ways, and that threatened his ego and his sense of security in his own masculinity, to see someone that he expected to be a barely GNC woman be better at whatever his arbitrary standard of manhood was. We didn't last. But it did hurt, learning this about him, and what he expected of me, and how disgusted he was to see me being happier and more comfortable as a man when he wanted someone with much more proximity to womanhood.

And I know trans fems who have had this exact situation happen to them too, which is why I'm not mad at the claim itself but more annoyed that this is a narrative that almost directly mimics my own intersex and transmasculine life and yet there are people who are adamant that it is disrespectful, racist and sexist even, to even consider any interpretation that would make Mizu trans masc. If you can acknowledge that there is heavy transgender symbolism here whether the creators intended it or not, then you can acknowledge that trans mascs seeing themselves in her journey is to be expected.

And immediately after that, **Mizu puts on her bride makeup again and sits in a meditative state to wait for him to come back home so she can apologize and smooth things over with him. She sheds every ounce of the man she had to be, the man she's comfortable being, because Mikio very clearly only wants a wife, and she very clearly only wants to be loved. There are so many trans mascs who are trapped in marriages and relationships like this where they cannot do anything except be their husband's perfect and proper feminine wife. Any and all masculinity is actively dangerous to them, even if that's what they'd prefer. That entire sequence is "please, I'm sorry, I won't do it again, please just love me, I'll be good". She's groveling- or at least preparing to, because she recognizes that her masculinity is wrong to him, and she is so desperate to be loved and accepted that she's shaving off the parts of herself to make herself fit into the image of "woman" laid out before her. She wants things to go back to the way they were that night after they had sex, when they stayed up and talked and bared their hearts to each other.

Again, I know, in person, as close personal friends, trans women who have had this exact experience as well, so I'm not saying this is exclusive to trans men. I am saying that it is very concerning to me that the folks stating this very clearly are either purposefully or accidentally disregarding the real, lived experience of trans men and mascs who have gone through this exact situation. I'm a very binary trans man and I have often described myself as both husband and wife.

Lastly the big concern I have is honestly transphobia. I've seen a lot of justifications for why she can't be a trans man but could be a trans woman to be that she's clearly exclusively interested in guys, which would make her heterosexual, which means she has to be a woman. Which like. Um. Gay trans man here. I've heard this multiple times throughout my life for why I can't possibly be trans. It sounds just as transphobic now as it did the last time I heard it direct to myself. She likes men, yes, true. Also, trans mascs do sometimes also exclusively like men. I should know, that fits my description.

But also that implies that trans women who are lesbians don't exist either. Being transgender doesn't mean that you are only interested in a specific gender and it always has to be the "opposite" to your own. Straight trans people exist. So do gay trans people and bi trans people and ace trans people and more.

And finally I see people saying that trans mascs seeing kinship with Mizu is "taking away" representation from cis women. And that's very, um, butch flight, gender traitor, male invader of them. For folks who claim to not be TERFs, they're using a lot of TERF arguments. And it does make me concerned, for all the lip service they have regarding how Mizu is more relatable to trans women than trans men, that they are using the argument of "support" for trans women to not actually support trans women but simply to be able to get away with their transphobia regarding trans men. Not a single one of these posts I've seen have been made by trans women or trans fems. They're also not being made by trans men or trans mascs. And it's interesting, and concerning, to me to see a group of people who are not trans be so vitriolic about who is allowed to relate and see themselves in this story.

Scrolling the fandom tag for BES and once again finding longwinded rants about how white trans mascs aren't allowed to find any similarities with themselves in Mizu's story because A: it's racist and B: her story is more for trans fems (and ofc it's not trans fems saying this) and I'm like

So trans mascs of color don't exist and mixed race trans mascs don't exist and there was never a single trans masc that felt caught between womanhood and manhood and felt joy at just being free to be themselves rather adhere tightly to society's gendered expectations? There was never a trans masc that saw themselves in cis women who lived as men or in masculinity even if it was just for safety? You sure about that?

Like I've said before I'm not really offended either way what pronouns someone uses for Mizu because I think any of them in English are varying degrees of incorrect because *Mizu is [half] Japanese living in 1600s Japan and Japanese pronouns are not one-to-one equivilants of English pronouns and 1600s Japanese gender roles are not one-to-one equivilants to modern American gender roles* and *Mizu herself reacts with violent rage when called a woman, while the creators explictly stated that she is a cis woman and exclusively use she/her to talk about her in interviews*

But it is really interesting that non-trans-mascs are so, *so* angry that trans mascs watching this show are seeing themselves in her journey. I think there is something to be stated for people who are not understanding the racial aspect of it- I'm mixed race myself though not with any Japanese blood, so maybe that lets me see a portion of this story more easily than someone who has never been so caught between worlds and identities, but also like. Japanese trans mascs and trans men exist. I just watched a documentary about being transgender in Japan, I know they're there. Being trans masc is not exclusively a white thing nor is it exclusive to Western gender roles. We've existed, everywhere, as long as gender has. Whether we were explictly called "transgender" or a different word.

I'm neither a woman nor a lesbian but that didn't stop me from seeing myself in almost every butch and stud I've ever met. And those I've talked to about it have said they've seen themselves, in me. We're allowed to have similarities and to share experiences.

[tossawary]

Hi! Just wondering, for you what is the difference between transmigrating in as an infant and regaining memories of your past life later, and transmigrating in as a character who a bit older but remembering the past of the character you’re in? I guess it’s kind of moot considering he still feels the weight of both those lives either way, but I was curious about your thoughts on it.

Hey! I think this is a pretty complicated and broad question. Overall, as with any story, there are different ways to write both of those things, different directions to explore, which could make them feel very different or functionally identical. My personal feelings on this can change wildly from story to story, and character to character. SPOILERS for SVSSS.

Let's say that Airplane Bro is the first case (reincarnated as an infant and gained his memories of his past life on the way) and Shen Yuan is the second case (transmigrated into an older character's life and later unlocked some of Shen Jiu's memories). Just to use their particular situations to look at some of the practical realities. I know that it doesn't fit precisely, but it's useful to have examples.

I think that a big element here is personal life choices and personal relationships. Airplane never has to feel like he replaced someone else. He's Shang Qinghua now, sure, but there was never an Original Shang Qinghua in this world. Being there from the beginning, he's been able to control his actions and responses, and build his own personal relationships. His relationship with Mobei-Jun, for example, is entirely his own.

(We don't actually know how much the System interfered in his life, but he does seem to have a degree of freedom that's much more significant compared to his fellow transmigrator. The vibe I got by the end of the Airplane Extras was that the System probably would have let him do whatever he'd wanted if he'd really gone for it, honestly.)

Shen Yuan, on the other hand, knows that he replaced someone else, and Shen Jiu had a miserable life and then made some cruel choices. Shen Yuan has to bear the burden of things he didn't do, even if other characters are willing to sweep it under the rug of amnesia, which has permanently colored his relationships with Luo Binghe, Yue Qingyuan, and Liu Qingge. (The System then forced him to do something terrible to Luo Binghe, whom he loved very much. At the very beginning, it temporarily controlled his every single interaction with any other human being during the OOC restriction period. That's just fucked up.) By the end of SVSSS, Shen Yuan fully inhabits the new Shen Qingqiu he's created and has made peace out of the story he's been given and the relationships he's inherited and made his own, even though he owns a life that partially belonged to someone else (Shen Jiu and the System). He has to live with that history.

Rambling on about Airplane Bro for a little bit to take a look at these two different approaches from another angle...

I typically imagine Airplane Bro slowly regaining his memories over the course of his childhood, because I personally can't fully suspend my disbelief over a fully conscious adult in the body of an infant. I mean, I've read that kind of thing before, and some of the stories have been good. But brains just don't work like that. Newborn babies are such little fragile aliens, barely able to see the faces less than a foot from their face. It's important to me to physically ground fantasy (and sci-fi) somewhat to make magic (and tech) feel both believable and compelling. This is a personal nitpick.

(You could have the reincarnated/transmigrated mind/soul being held mostly separate, slowly integrating, and essentially controlling the body remotely, I guess? But yeah, the "adult stuck in a child body" thing inherently has powerful horror elements (and political elements in regards to children's rights) that a lot of reincarnated stories seem to take on unintentionally and don't always handle well. When I'm writing reincarnation stuff, I usually skip over that backstory stuff in part because it's just so complicated, and also because there are other plots I'd rather explore that I find more interesting. Getting bogged down in early childhood stuff generally isn't really my thing, reading or writing it.)

If Airplane is essentially haunted by the memories of his past life for his entire childhood, I think it would make him strange, unnerving, and generally unpalatable to other people. I think it would be confusing and scary to know things without being sure how you know them. To remember things that seem to belong not only to another life, but another world. It would contribute to his isolation, his emotional detachment, and his choice to identify strongly with his previous life in terms of personality.

And if it's a more gradual process, then he doesn't have to feel like he replaced someone else. He knows (as much as anyone can know anything) that this body has always belonged to him.

If he suddenly remembered a past life, then that would also lead to his detached Airplane Bro personality. But if he suddenly remembered a past life, depending on how you write it, it might feel functionally identical to transmigrating in in that moment but still retaining the body's memories.

Of course, even if it was a gradual process, depending on how you write it, it could seem to him that it was a gradual transmigration and that he replaced someone else. Both approaches are cool.

Transmigration and reincarnation must be such a disorienting experience, liable to make a character doubt reality or their "sanity". When a character transmigrates in but has access to the body's memories, there's often some plot device dream sequence (the transmigrator briefly gets to meet the ghost of the person they're replacement) or System interference to let both the character and the readers know that there's been a switch. What if there's no System popping up to explain exactly what happened? What if the character just has to guess based on these vague memories that they may or may not be able to tell came from another person?

Either way, transmigrators are usually dealing with feeling like an imposter. But I think the transmigrator generally might feel guiltier over taking up or ruining any pre-existing relationships if they know for a fact that they replaced a separate person.

Back to some physical practicalities between our two transmigrators in SVSSS... Airplane Bro has just had... more time to get used to his life here. Coming in as an infant, presuming a gradual adjustment of awareness, he's used to his own body. He's at home in it.

SVSSS isn't fully interested in exploring this topic, so we don't really see Shen Yuan dealing with it, but... suddenly being in a different body would be a WEIRD experience. I can handwave away a lot of brain stuff on "magical System weirdness", so sure, Shen Yuan's mind is somehow his own while retaining some Shen Jiu memories, and he has special muscle memory and spiritual memory that allows him to continue being a powerful cultivation with only minor adjustment.

But... what about things like taste buds? The physical human experience is so wildly varied. Humans are incredibly adaptable, but surely it would be weird at first to potentially have different favorite foods. To like different drinks. To maybe enjoy different smells. To dislike things you used to love. To be a different height. A different weight. To be far more physically fit. To have different teeth. Personally, I move slightly differently and have slightly different mannerisms depending on the length of my hair, having to keep longer hair out of the way. Shen Yuan would adjust in time, sure, but that dysphoria must've been something else at first.

As someone interested in these physical realities of magic, I was a little disappointed when none of these came up more extensively when Shen Yuan switched into a body made out of a plant. I think that even little things like breathing and sunlight would feel intensely different. I'm now tempted to write something exploring Shen Yuan enjoying the sensations of his super magical plant body now.

Okay, I don't know where I'm going with my rambling now, so I'm signing off. I think the weight of different transmigration experiences can feel very, VERY different depending on what you're personally interested in exploring when you write.

[mynonclicheblog]

An accidental character study of Erin Quinn (and James Maguire)

This post is mostly a thought dump because it's been buzzing around in my brain, but I'm tagging in case anyone... idk... is interested in reading my chaotic analytical thought processes or w/e 😂

Before 3x04, I was confident that if we got a Jerin confession in canon it was going to be James who dropped the bomb first. I've been thinking about this a lot lately in terms of, like, my understanding of James and Erin as individuals and WHY I felt that way (prior to ~that scene), so this is mostly gonna be me laying out my thoughts on Erin's headspace leading up to James's confession + why she wasn't mentally ready to be the one to say anything.

Anyway, my brain is a bit scrambled while writing this so please bear with me. 🐻

So let me just say first, I've got some Derry Girls/Erin POV ficlets saved in my drafts right now and I've never connected more thoroughly with any other character I've written for? Ever? It was like, suddenly I'm inside her brain and she's telling me things about herself that I didn't realize before with absolutely zero effort on my part. Idk man it's been so much fun & unlike anything I've experienced 😂

But anyway - as I stated in my tags on this post, one of the main reasons I felt it would have to be James who bit the bullet first boils down to their rationalized self-perception // the fact that he's more honest with himself than she is. This is consistent with James in pretty much all areas: he is easily able to recognize something, process it, and state it out loud.

His character falls pretty well into the "straight man" trope within the wacky and colorful landscape of Derry natives. He is often a voice of reason amongst the girls (a role he sometimes shares with Clare) despite his rarely being taken seriously by them - he's similar to Gerry in this way. Regardless, James is overall the most grounded and self-aware member of their group. The show hadn't dropped as many obvious nuggets of his crush on Erin imo (compared to the other way around), but that's fair because he isn't the one who needed his feelings to be billboarded in order to self-actualize them. Once James gets something, he gets it. Signed, sealed, delivered.

Erin on the other hand is notoriously delusional - even in situations wherein she's well aware of the reality, she's keen to mentally overwrite that by clinging to a self-imposed narrative which she finds to be more suitable. She's also an incurable romantic with a flair for drama and sweeping love stories - but then, she's stubborn, and not totally honest with herself.

So, how do you determine which side wins out? And if she so loves romance, why would she prefer to keep her crush on her best friend buried rather than take a chance on this potential romcom storyline come to life?

For me the answer is in her current frame of mind: despite her clumsy, awkward, and chaotic ways, Erin is extremely image-conscious. Since season 1 she has been repeatedly concerned with what others think of her (David Donnelly, Charlene Kavanaugh, Ms. De Brun, to name a few).

Putting aside the connotations associated with Anglo-Irish relations, I think Erin's biggest hang-up lies within her immediate circle, like the way she and her friends slag him off all the time. That is comfortable. Slagging off James is normal, familiar. But having to admit that she's actually started to fancy that same boy, the object of her and her friends' endless ridicule... that feels awkward. It's unheard of.

And most importantly - this is the real kicker - it's embarrassing.

To compound this she has a touch of Anne Shirley disease, in that James doesn't fit the 'ideal' mold she thought she wanted (just look at him next to her usual type; the cool, aloof, masculine lads). James is her dorky best friend - not exactly the conventional Love Interest hottie she's always imagined herself with.

I think after 2x05/6 Erin realizes on some level that she has a wee bit of a crush on James, but she's decided to keep a lid on it and pretend it doesn't exist. Why? ->->-> Because it's weird! My friends won't understand. The WORLD won't understand. He's an amazing fella but I'm... I can't date James! That's just- it's ridiculous! Best keep that to myself, then.

She keeps her crush tucked away partially out of ignorance to the weight of it, but that's only because she WANTS to be ignorant of it. She knows it's there but refuses to look right at it.

Whereas James is able to zero in on the feelings and the feelings alone once he has a lightbulb moment (hi James I'll get back to you in a sec), Erin automatically filters those feelings against a bunch of external factors: what will people think of me, an Irish catholic gal, being with an Englishman? Will they think it's weird if I'm dating my sweet friend James and not some absolute ride-o-rama? What will our families, our FRIENDS think??!

Erin's got a rather anxious personality. Right now, while she's young, that manifests as this tendency to hyperfocus on her self-image and the image she projects to the world.

This futile desire to be perceived as 'cool' is something that Erin and James have always had in common, though each in their own way. I think James has shown the most progress getting past that fear as of series 3 as he continues to grow more comfortable with himself and has learned to fit in with his, quite frankly, crazy group of girls.

In the earlier series episodes James was frequently concerned with the judgements and/or assumptions people made about him - he's an English prick, he's gay, he's not much of a man. As time has gone on, we've now seen James proclaim himself to be a Derry Girl. He's performed onstage dressed as Posh Spice. He's no longer seeking approval from other males like he used to.

This isn't meant to sound like a cruel outlook, but I think the constant belittlement he experiences from the girls (affectionate) has aided him in learning to not always take words/opinions to heart. He knows now that it's not always an accurate picture of how people feel, nor is it a reflection of how he should feel about himself. Erin's not quite there yet, but post-kiss I think her mindset regarding her crush on James is going to make a conscious shift.

As of 3x04 she still prioritizes what Michelle thinks, still fears the newness of these feelings she's just finally had to face, and she doesn't want to make waves in the friend group. So she turns him down for now (though the dejection in her apology betrays her attempt at emotional distancing).

Eventually they'll all get older. A more grown-up Erin will realize that these things she's been so worried about re: a relationship with James are trivial, and ultimately inconsequential to the bigger picture.

James and Erin started out in the same place with the same trajectory - fearing judgement, eager to please, desperately craving validation. James's rational personality and experiences happened to boost his maturation ahead a bit, so he was in a position to break the fog sooner than Erin.

The parallels within their development arcs (to say nothing of the peace process symbolism) is really quite beautiful when you think about it.

[smashboxgirl26]

perspiration

katsuki bakugou x reader

contains: fluff!!

masterlist

I've been thinking about... Bakugou being insecure about his sweaty hands.

Now, it was well known that Bakugou’s quirk was reliant on his ability to sweat - since that’s what he ignited in order to create his powerful blasts.

But the power that he got from his quirk also had a downside - it meant that he was constantly sweaty.

Don’t get me wrong though, this was something that never bothered him before. And if someone ever tried to make him feel bad about it, he’d immediately show them the power that was held within the sweat they were trying to make fun of him for.

But now, here he was, in a fresh new relationship with you - his first one, if he ever admitted it - and constantly worried about screwing everything up between the two of you.

He already knew that he wasn’t the best of choices as far as boyfriends went: he was loud (to the point of being obnoxious), he wasn’t known as one of the nicest people around, his language consisted mostly of cursing and other nasty language, he was easily angered, and the list went on.

That didn’t really stop him from asking you out to a café however, and leaving him extremely surprised when you actually said yes.

He’d always seen you as one of the only people in the class that was on the same wavelength as he was, but even then it felt like the life you lived was on a completely different planet than the one he was on; you looked perfect, always, with not a speck of a mess shown in the way you wore your clothes or styled your hair. You were smart, always coming high in the exams and getting good grades on your assignments. AND on top of all the compliments he would shower on you (if he wasn’t such a tsundere) - you were beautiful; You were absolutely breathtaking in every single way and he would be lying out of his ass if he said he wasn’t completely enraptured with you and everything you did.

But all this meant that he heard what others said about the two of you being together - that he was some uncivilized barbarian compared to the goddess that you were because ‘Did you see how he was at the Sports Festival?’

Whether or not you heard these things was unknown to him, but he did know one thing - he was going to be the best goddamn boyfriend that you could’ve asked for.

And that started with holding your hand.

But, why the hell were his hands sweaty all the goddamn time?

Was it you? Was it him? He had no clue.

He only knew that he didn’t want you to hold his hand when it was dripping in sweat and you were able to feel it as it ran down his fingertips and fell to the ground.

What if you thought it was gross?

What if you broke up with him over it?

He’d been (unsuccessfully) made fun of it before, what if you thought the same?

He really, really liked you. He wasn’t going to let you go for something as dumb as him not being able to control his sweat.

So instead of holding your hand on the way back from classes or training, he would shove them deep in his pockets before you could try and make the attempt to grab his fingers within yours.

At first, you didn’t complain. Bakugou wasn’t really a touchy person, so it made perfect sense that he maybe didn’t want to hold your hands and walk to classrooms or back to the dorms together.

But as the weeks went by, and Bakugou was clearly more comfortable with you, the routine would stay the same. He would hug and kiss you with no second thoughts, but he would outright refuse to hold your hand. It couldn’t have been because he was embarrassed of being seen with you - since he had no qualms about PDA.

So why didn’t he?

“Can we hold hands?” you asked one day after class was over, and he was waiting for you to pack up your stuff to walk back to the dorms together.

“Hurry up so we can go,” he deflected as he shoved his palms deeper into his pockets.

He knew the question was coming but he was unprepared for your reaction.

You rolled your eyes as you finished and walked up to him, “I’m being serious. Why don’t you want to hold hands with me?”

Bakugou rolled his eyes and shrugged his shoulders as he spoke in a way that tried to play it off despite his underlying anxiety, “My hands are sweaty.”

“So? Mine are too.”

And with that, you’d grasped his before he could protest, and was dragging him out the classroom hand in hand; while Bakugou only stared mostly slack-jawed at what just happened, his face twisted into a small smile before he readjusted his grip on your hand and led you back to the dorms instead - as the perspiration began to drip from the both of yours' palms and onto the ground.

──────────────

i pulled this idea out of my ass after working out like crazy and being sweaty all the time for the past week

and don't worry y'all, new chapters for save your tears and vengeance are coming soon!

[fakeikemen]

Katara's Grief

(This is my first attempt at a meta post and I know that this has probably been already done but I just needed to get it off my chest and go on a little rant and it kinda got long so bear with me.)

A lot of the hate on Katara stems from the fact that she keeps on mentioning her mother's death at every chance she gets and invalidates other people's pain to assert that her suffering is the worst of the lot.

And even though everybody is entitled to their own opinions, I'm gonna point out why I think the aforesaid claims are not exactly correct.

First we'll take a look at; Katara's Backstory:

We know that Kya is killed in a fire nation raid and that Katara had been the last person to see her alive before she leaves the tent on her mother's insistence. Only to come back a few moments later and find her dead body. This, in itself is a traumatising event.

So yes, her mother died. Other people in the story go through far worse. You're not wrong when you say that.

But what is more important in Katara's story is the aftermath of her mother's death.

As Sokka says while talking to Toph in "The Runaway" in B3 Ep7:

Sokka: When our mom died, that was the hardest time in my life. Our family was a mess, but Katara? She had so much strength. She stepped up and took on so much responsibility. She helped fill the void that was left by our mom.

As an eight year old, she had to force herself to grow up to step into her mother's shoes and raise herself and her elder brother and simultaneously look after the entire village after her father left to fight in the war. She had to do all of it by herself.

In face of all her responsibilities, she never really had the chance to simply be a grieving child lamenting the loss of her mother. She habituated herself to caring more about others than herself (We see this trait in the entire series as she acts as the stand-in mom friend for the entire Gaang with an exception of Suki and Zuko). She ended up bottling her feelings of grief, resentment, guilt and rage deep within herself.

She had to give up an extensive part of her childhood where most children focus on figuring themselves out, to become a mature and responsible person who was working as the immovable pillar holding up the family and even the whole village not much later.

She put up a strong front to help others and pretended to be fine even though she was hurting inside the whole time.

She could never find any closure from the situation. She never got over it.

Moving on to the criticisms:

1. Katara keeps on mentioning her mother like a broken record:

Here are the number of times Katara mentions her mother's death (not sure if that's all of it, lmk if there are any others):

1. In her first scene with Sokka

Katara: Ever since mom died, I've been doing all the work around camp while you've been off playing soldier!

2. A short while after she meets Aang

Katara: Well, I just want you to be prepared for what you might see. The Fire Nation is ruthless. They killed my mother, and they could have done the same to your people.

3. A short while after she meets Haru

Katara: I lost my mother in a Fire Nation raid. This necklace is all I have left of her.

4. A short while after she meets Jet

Katara: Sokka and I lost our mother to the Fire Nation.

5. In the swamp after she sees a vision of her mother

Katara: I thought I saw Mom.

6. In the Crystal Catacombs with Zuko

Katara: I don't? How dare you! You have no idea what this war has put me through! Me personally! The Fire Nation took my mother away from me.

7. A short while after she meets Hama

Katara: We completely understand. We lost our mother in a raid.

8. Repeated mentions in The Southern Raiders episode

(Most of the episode basically)

The first mention with Sokka is in the middle of a siblings' spat where she tells off Sokka for trying to act as if he were superior when it was obvious that in the face of the gaping hole that was left by Kya's sudden death, Katara had shouldered much more responsibility.

When she tells it to Aang, she uses it as a proof that the Fire Nation is capable of immense cruelty and destruction.

The Gaang travel all around the world and meet different people affected by the war in different ways. So when Haru, Jet and Hama narrate their own stories, Katara sympathises with them and talks about Kya's death in lieu of "I understand, the Fire Nation hurt me too."

After they got separated, Aang, Sokka and Katara each had their visions and after they get back together, they all mention their visions and so does Katara.

When left alone in catacombs with Zuko, whom she considered as the face of the Fire Nation— the same Fire Nation that had her mother killed and forced her father to leave to fight in the war, she has a meltdown where she rightfully accuses him of all the bad things he's done and then breaks down while talking about how the war has cost her i.e., by causing her mother's death.

The Southern Raiders is the episode where Katara hunts down the man responsible for her mother's death. If you think mentioning Kya repeatedly in this episode is uncalled for, then I don't know what to tell you.

In all the incidents mentioned above, Katara mentioning her mother's death is a very natural occurrence is the respective conversations. She mostly talks about Kya's death to either extend her sympathy or to use it as an example of the ruthlessness of the Fire Nation.

Another fact to be noted is that 70% of the Gaang's storyline is followed via Katara from a narrative point of view. Plus, being the mom-friend, she acts as the spokesperson. Considering that Kya's death is a major event that played a huge role in shaping Katara's life and is also the source of her severe, unresolved trauma, which acts as the driving force of her story, it is only natural that she brings up this topic whenever she is engaging in a deeper conversation.

It is us as the viewers who have seen her from the start and already know about her mother's death and we see her talking to multiple people about it. Which is why it might come across as repetitive to some people.

While, Kya's death is not necessary information that everyone needs to know, Katara talking about it never comes across as a forced or unnatural.

2. Katara invalidates others' pain because she thinks she has suffered the most:

First of all, if anything, Katara is the most empathetic person of them all. As the mom-friend of the group, not only is she their constant moral support, she also helps them untangle and sort out their own feelings. She is also able to tap into issues that aren't said out loud.

Instances of Katara helping and supporting Aang, emotionally are uncountable.

She is the first one to notice Sokka's sour mood in B3 Ep4 "Sokka's Master". And even though his insecurities seem baseless, she validates him (by saying "I'm sorry you're feeling so down" instead of something like "That's a dumb thing to say") and knows exactly what to do to cheer him up.

In B3 Ep7 "The Runaway" she has the insight to understand that Toph's unruly behaviour is caused by the mixed feelings she has about her parents even though Toph's herself never talked about it.

She even reaches out to Zuko in B2 Ep19 "Crossroads of Destiny" even though she used to think of him as the face of the enemy.

But then there's The Southern Raiders.

Ah yes, that episode where Katara is extremely OOC and a total b*tch.

Agreed that she said some things that she definitely shouldn't have said. But like, she's just 14?? And has been hurting on the inside since she was 8?? And pretended to be fine just for the sake of other people?? Like, there's a limit to how much she can have her shit under control?? And she did a real good job of Sokka's upbringing and taking care of the village and taking care of Gaang on her own?? Some people out there are really willing to forget everything she has ever done just because she was mean for 5 minutes?? A traumatised 14 yo shouldn't be villianised and called toxic because she got mad and lashed out at people that one time??

But here's my take on the scene anyway:

When Aang gets to know that she's going to go face her mother's killer:

Aang: Um ... and what exactly do you think this will accomplish?

Katara: I knew you wouldn't understand. 

Aang is a non-confrontational person who prefers running away from difficult situations as opposed to Katara who firmly stands her ground and is never afraid of confrontations. Katara had approached Aang only hoping that he would understand. But going by his dismissal, he obviously doesn't understand the burning need that she has to confront the man who had single-handedly destroyed her childhood. (Most people infer that what Katara means is that she thinks that Aang doesn't understand the pain of losing people. And so does Aang, I guess)

But things start getting even more tricky when:

Aang: Katara, you sound like Jet.

In all honesty, this is probably the most insensitive thing that she could've heard from anyone right then, let alone one of her closest friends. Hearing herself being compared to a homicidal maniac just because she wants to avenge her mother's killer. (No, I'm not justifying murder but there's a clear difference between homicide and avenging someone's death. And Aang may not be my favourite character but I do love him but this wasn't really a good thing to say either. And he wasn't even mentally distressed in the very least to be completely lacking tact or a filter.)

And then the situation escalates:

Sokka: Katara, she was my mother, too, but I think Aang might be right.

Katara: Then you didn't love her the way I did!

After 6 long years of Katara bottling in her dark feelings and letting them fester inside herself, she is finally letting them out and the first things she faces in a span of few minutes are outright rejection, invalidation of her feelings, comparison to a homicidal maniac and nothing akin to the unconditional support that she has provided to everybody. Her own brother tells her that he is siding with the boy who just compared her to a homicidal maniac.

Yes, accusing your own brother of not loving your mother enough is a very cruel thing to do. But both Sokka and Katara know that she doesn't entirely mean it.

But also, there is one very important factor in here:

In B3 Ep7 "The Runaway", Sokka says to Toph:

Sokka: I'm gonna tell you something crazy. I never told anyone this before, but honestly? I'm not sure I can remember what my mother looked like. It really seems like my whole life, Katara's been the one looking out for me. She's always been the one that's there. And now, when I try to remember my mom, Katara's is the only face I can picture. 

Katara overhears this conversation just as Sokka had meant her to.

This dialogue lets us know that Sokka's coping mechanism has made him suppress all memories of Kya and replace them with memories of Katara in order to attain a semblance of normalcy.

Both Katara and Sokka had very different ways of coping with Kya's death. Katara pressed down her feelings and tried her best to pretend to ignore them while Sokka partially succeeded in forgetting her.

When Katara first hears these words she is shown to be crying. But if she were to remember these very words while she was justifying herself infront of her own brother and a close friend for wanting to avenge her mother, it would've had a negative impact on her.

In her rage, she would've thought: "Of course he doesn't want to avenge mom. Because he doesn't think it's worth it and that's because he doesn't even remember enough of her to be mad about her death."

And for someone who has spent each day of the last 6 years trying to fill in the shoes of her mother and experiencing her absence everyday, the idea of forgetting her mother is a ridiculous concept to her.

Her thoughts would have quickly derailed to: "He didn't love her enough to remember her."

In light of these thoughts, saying "Then you didn't love her the way I did" doesn't feel out of the blue.

No, I am definitely not justifying what she said, I'm just laying out a possible explanation to why she said what she said.

Yes, she should've apologized to Sokka for this and I think that they definitely should've had a long conversation about their mother's death and how it affected them. Between Katara supressing her feelings and Sokka supressing his memories, i don't think they ever had this conversation.

But sadly we are given neither of these scenes.

Tl;dr: Everytime Katara mentions her mother, it's with good reason and I don't think it's fair to call a character toxic when they lack a mind to mouth filter for 5 minutes and say some mean things. And considering all that Katara has done for everybody, it isn't fair at all.

Peace out!

[wizarddank]

Hi sad Mandalorian headcanons coming through beep beep

I was thinking about Paz's armor and how different it is than Din's mostly in that it just seems like so much MORE. It's bulkier, seems to cover more of his body, has more attachments, etc. And I know he is described as heavy infantry, but still. Paz comes from a long line of Mandalorians and his armor probably does too. It's been added to and modified and customized and improved over generations. It's a full set, I guess you'd say.

Now compare that to Din, a former foundling, when we first meet him. He's been helmeted for 25-30 years, so if collecting enough beskar for a full suit of armor were possible within a lifetime, I feel like he would have been further along than what he was when he is introduced, when his armor was heavily supplemented by scavenged pieces from other kinds of armor, or mismatched pieces of other's handed down armor. As big as he is and as bulky as his armor is, Paz couldn't have collected/earned that beskar himself, he inherited it.

But that's all obvious right? We've known that all along. What I'm thinking about now is the way things function in their little sewer group. Why is it that Din is the one who gets to go above ground? I know I've speculated before that it's because he shows leadership and responsibility, skill and intelligence, whatever attributes would be needed for The Armorer to assign the role of Provider to him. I always assumed that that role would be an honor, as Paz seems to feel a bit of jealousy towards Din for it.

So to finally arrive at the point: what if that isn't true at all?

What if Din was sent out to find work while certain other Mandalorians did not because he was seen as expendable?

Not because he wasn't capable. They still needed whoever went out to succeed in making money and bringing in supplies.

But rather, because he was this raggedy little orphan boy never adopted by a clan, no beskar but the helmet all foundlings are promised upon swearing the creed, with nothing to lose and everything to prove? And he DID prove himself, he survived and provided and maybe even thrived. He was able to collect or buy more beskar, buy a ship, weaponry, etc.

Yet to me it still seems... Weird that this guy you send out to provide for you, doesn't even have a jetpack until someone DIES and the Armorer gives it to him. Why would you, as another member of their group, not want the guy risking his neck so you could eat to have the best chance he could of doing the best job and getting home safely?

Because he isn't worthy to you?

Because you don't trust him?

Maybe that's why you would take his beskar spear and melt it down, saying it could be used on other Mandalorians. That beskar shouldn't be used to make weaponry, despite using it to make Whistling Birds...

We got a LOT of answers about the surviving Mandalorians in that episode of tbobf but I have SO many more.

[atzsslut]

Bask In Your Scent | fluff

Florence, 2020 with Jung Yuno 

fluff : (as a writer, fuck the pandemic i am not writing abt smiling thru a mask so this is no pandemic 2020!), PLS Y/N AND YUNO ARE PAINFULLY CLUELESS HERE, english-speaking, reader owns a candle shop / jaehyun (yuno) owns a flower shop, florence is slightly romanticized (but it is very beautiful), slow burn, mutual pining, etc. ♡ 5.43k words

Florence. The roofs were all tiled with brown ceramic, the rays of sun reflecting entirely over the mountain to the buildings so close by. In the morning, it was incredibly serene. The cobblestone streets sounded with taps from your feet walking over from your shop to the one beside you—something you did every time the clock hit 8:00 AM. Or something he did every 8:00 AM. Sometimes you two met in the middle. 

Let alone in November, the sun still came up over the cold weather, perfectly blanketing the city with a slight warmth despite the temperature being below freezing. Romantic, and yet no ounce of love was ever proclaimed between the two of you. Not that it was faraway. 

Looking up to the sky, past the beautiful architecture that vastly lingered in every inch of the city, you admired the moving clouds. It reminded you of his favorite colour; white. You watched him through the glass doors of his shop, which was a similar size to yours. Breathing out, you pushed the door open with one hand. 

"Benvenuti!" was what you heard the second you came into the shop, the usual 'welcome' that the boy yelled whenever he listened to the bell on the glass door ring. 

"Yuno," you chuckled, "It's just me." 

"Oh? You're later than usual," he interjected, knowing that you usually came at 8:00 O'Clock on the dot (and it was 8:45), "Good morning." 

He wasn't looking to the door, as he was prepping a pot behind the counter, back facing the storefront. Typically, when you did come into the shop, Yuno was looking ahead and greeted you with a smile. His hair was a mess this time, and his apron, much more than usual, was dirtied with soil and water. 

You were busy packing up the big order you had gotten to make hundreds of taper candles, hence your tardiness. Going to visit each other in the morning was something like brushing your teeth, normalized and constant; you both couldn't go without it.

"Are you busy? I can come back later," you suggested, holding the door, prepared to go out if you were a burden to him, "Because..."

He could tell that you were implying to his unkempt appearance. Yuno had gotten a last-minute order a week ago to prepare over a hundred small bouquets for a wedding ceremony. Since he owned the flower shop alone, he had stayed up to finish everything before the time due. Luckily for Yuno, you had come when he was doing the last one. 

"No, no," he quickly denied, "Please, come in." 

Shifting your feet, you closed the door and took gradual steps up to the counter where Yuno was, the shop relatively spacious as it was distributed with bloomed flowers and packaged seeds. Compared to your shop, Yuno's was just a tad brighter and looked the most beautiful during the day. As for you, yours looked mesmerizing when dawn came, the candles you made lighting the store. 

Yuno had always relished your presence, even if it meant that he'd lose a few minutes from his morning to plant in the garden out back or prep flowers. Unbeknownst to one another, the redamancy you both had for each other was visible through the small acts done on a day-by-day basis. 

Often enough, Yuno had provided you with flowers that were left over so you could make scented extracts and decoration for your candles. You were eternally grateful to him, as your candles wouldn't look as pretty as they did without his offerings. As for you to Yuno, you were the reason he never had a single plant put to waste, and you knew all of the best patisseries around. More than enough times, you'd brought him a different kind of pastry in the morning to wake him up. 

Was it gratitude, or was it merely because two shop owners were all too scared to face their feelings? 

"So, what do you have to do today?" you asked, pacing around the counter, never not in awe by how messily the flowers were organized, yet how lovely it was. Much to say the least, it was very Yuno-esque. Disordered yet still admirable. 

"I have to drive these to the wedding in Villa Cora. You?" 

"Wait, actually? You're going to Villa Cora?" 

Yuno furrowed his eyebrows, not knowing that you had any business there as well. It seemed that the daily conversations you two had passed the topic of going to the same destination, both for different reasons, yet on the same day. 

"Yeah, a hundred bouquets I told you about, those are for a wedding there."

"They hired me to make candles for their decor. I need to send it to them today by 10:00 AM. What time do you need to go?"

"When you came in, I was finishing up the last bouquet. And I've gotta be there pretty soon, by 9:30." Yuno said, hiding the fact of him having to be there the same time as you was bringing him some joy, "Would.. you like me to drive you there?"

"You want to go together?" it felt like rhetoric more than anything since you were well aware that the answer was 'yes.' 

"Yes." Yuno was always poised about asking you things that seemed romantic or doing acts of service that could possibly be his love language, but you two had been each other's 'comfort people' for so long that it was impossible to tell. 

"Besides, a little bit of company in the front seat never hurt anybody." Mostly if it was you, Yuno thought. 

There was this charm about Yuno that always managed to fill the whole room. Despite his face, which was too handsome for you not to be caught staring, Yuno had a personality that matched yours like a puzzle. No, he wasn't perfect, and nor were you, but it was accepting that everything about him couldn't always be as poise as his appearance was how you fell for him. And him to you. 

There were one too many favors that you both have done for one another that seemed to parallel. You both would come running to each other's shops if Yuno were to prick his finger with a thorn, or if you were to burn yours from hot wax. You both would be each other's noses when the other was having the flu to check if the flowers were right or if the extract in the candle wasn't pungent enough. 

It seemed that your game of Tom & Jerry to gain each other's love continued to go on, albeit you two were already in love. Only painfully unaware of each other's doting. 

"I just need to go upstairs first and change," Yuno said as he struggled to take his apron off. For the past three days, he barely took it off, and it seemed the knot tightened. 

"Yu-" you bit your lip to hide your unmistakable laugh, "Yuno, come around here. I'll help you."

Hesitant, his footsteps were heavy on the ground, eyes refusing to look at yours as he walked to where you were. Since he was taller than you, whether it was by a lot or not, your hands went above eye-level to untie the knot. 

He smelt of pure earth mixed with the slight fragrance of white roses and baby's breath flowers, but it was the pollen stuck in his hair that made your lips go from ear to ear. Adorable, you thought, seeing the little dots of yellow litter his dark hair. 

Managing to untie the knot from both the neck and the waist tie, you tapped his shoulders to signal that you were done. Spinning his body 180 degrees, his eyes met with yours, and your breath hitched. Your eyes blinked profusely, shocked at the sudden gaze. 

But it seemed impulsive when Yuno breathed in, taking in a scent that he never usually associated with you. Whenever you came into the shop, he never failed to pick up the signature scent that lingered whenever you were around; eucalyptus and chamomile. Yet somehow, this time around, you seemed to smell like nutmeg and neroli, maybe cinnamon too. 

"Did..." he was reluctant to ask, in the fear he'd seem peculiar, "Did you get a new perfume?" 

You were surprised by his question, shellshocked that he even noticed how the new concoctions you were making for your ordered candles completely overpowered your routine perfume. You tried to hold back the urge to grin, your teeth showing as you failed to do so. 

"For the Villa Cora order," you welled up to him, "I guess what they asked for was rather strong. I'm... surprised you even noticed." 

"It's like when you're used to seeing something every day. When it's not there and out of your site, you question its absence. It was odd for me to not get a routinely whiff of your usual perfume, Y/N." he admitted, only making you feel more lauded than before. 

"Oh." was all you could spit out before Yuno awkwardly cleared his throat and wiped his hands on his apron. 

He gestured towards the door behind the cashier, where the stairs that led up to his room were. The same structure adorned your shop, where the door behind the counter would lead to your home. Small, but nowhere near worn. 

At this point, Yuno wasn't necessarily sure if his house was simply everything he asked for, or he was able to make it through with you around. 

Not wanting to make you wait any longer, he ran up the stairs to rush to his room (to which you had heard every rushed stride, not that he knew). Indeed, you thought, a gentleman.  Sometimes, Yuno gave you your daily dose of comedic relief, his actions bringing a laugh out of you until your stomach hurt. You wondered, does he feel the same? 

Does she feel the same? He wondered the equivalent, this time as he was picking out which sweater to use this cold November. Since the one he was wearing previously was dirtied, despite his apron. 

Yuno always wondered if it were a fate that brought you two together in Florence. He remembered the first day that he had gotten there two and a half years ago, the shop that remained vacant up until his moving boxes filled the room. The cost of living wasn't as expensive as he predicted, but he needed many things to change. 

Unlike Connecticut and Seoul, Florence was just about perfect for allowing flowers to continually bloom. If it was too sunny, the architecture had a form of protection. Even if the weather changed, another plant species would simply replace another, filling Yuno's shop with a new flower. 

As for you, you got there a week before Yuno did, your shop already entirely set from the way the candles were displayed at the storefront. Intrigued, he stepped into the shop to find you behind the cashier, only for you to be his only fluent friend in English. He had asked you why you kept all the candles in black glass, leading to a conversation that went on for three hours about flowers and candles. 

To say the least, there was much more in common than what met the eye. 

Since then, you two have always just been intertwined. Whether it was an invisible red string of fate, the reality was that destiny might be real for the two of you. If and when the love is proclaimed, that is. 

Throwing his apron towards his bed, which then became dirty (assuming it wasn't already), he picked out a sweater in peach. Putting it on over his head, Yuno walked over to his bathroom and kicked the door open with his foot. Looking in the mirror, he took his chain out of the under of his sweater to make it visible, pushing his bangs back to fix his hair. 

He looked at the time, seeing that it was precisely 9:00 AM already. A string of curses followed along his lips as he ran to his closet once again, grabbing his coat. Rushing downstairs, the same way he did before going upstairs, he was now met with you in a coat and a few other boxes. 

He guessed that through the time he was upstairs, you'd grabbed your packages next door to not waste any more time. It was a good thing that he had loaded all except one of his boxes the night before, as he finished the last bouquet this morning. 

"Ready to go, Jung?" you teased, using his last name to provoke him. 

Yuno took his car keys from the drawer with a nod, clicking the button that turned on the truck outside. Packing in his last bouquet, you went ahead to the vehicle as you opened the door with your back while carrying one of the boxes you had. Setting it down on the street for a short second, you opened the trunk and placed the first one inside.

You weren't surprised by the numerous crates that were already inside the truck, knowing that Yuno didn't often get big orders, but when he did, it was the ones that caused the skin around his eyes to whither. The same went for you, most of the time having customers loyal to your shop rather than commercial purchases. 

You still had about four boxes left to stuff into the trunk, absolutely exhausted from the constant melting and molding you had to do for taper candles. Much to your surprise, Yuno was carrying his own crate while carrying two of your boxes. 

Racing over to him, you scolded him for doing that, knowing that a large number of candles carried substantial weight. He argued that he could do it, but you rebutted back, saying that it didn't matter. As you quickly finished packing up the things, shutting the back with a loud noise, you both got into the front seats by 9:05, driving away as the engine turned on. 

"Did you stay up all night last night?" you broke the silence, fiddling with your bag that was on your lap.

"Yeah," his eyes didn't leave the road as he spoke, determined to drive exceptionally well in your presence, "Didn't you too?" 

"Only to fill in the last batch into the molds. Meanwhile, you had to assemble all those flowers into those glass pots. Please tell me that you didn't break any."

"How... how did..." he remembered that you were his next-door neighbour in a way, and you had a knack of staying up late too. More or less, the chances of you hearing him accidentally break glass was heard. 

"Yeah. How many did you break?" there was a slight pause, making you sigh out, "Be honest."

"Two..." he admitted, his gaze sticking to the road, not even sparing a glance at you out of embarrassment. You knew him so well. 

There was a brief stillness before you began to laugh, trying not to as you clasped your hands on your mouth, mumbling out apologies in between each sound from amusement. 

"Oh, I'm sorry. Is my suffering funny to you?"

"Yeah!" you said in between gasps of air.

"Y/N, don't make me talk about the time you were too impatient for the purple-coloured lavender wax to cool, and you ended up overheating the glass, and it broke." 

"Hey!" you resisted, "At least it was ONE glass. It wasn't TWO like you did." 

"Okay, but it takes a lot to break the thick glass you use for candles. Please Y/N, there is no argument here." Yuno glimpsed at the GPS, "Oh, we're almost there." 

"What are you on about?" you giggled, "There is so much room for argument here, especially if we're talking about mishaps. I may be caught off guard sometimes, but no one can match how clumsy you are, Yuno."

"Well," he spoke as he took the turn up the hill to Villa Cora, "I cannot count the number of times I've seen you through my window, tripping on the cobblestone." 

Although you were embarrassed, it was humorous that maybe you were more clumsy than you anticipated. Knowing well that Yuno was somebody who didn't only see the good sides of you, and yet he didn't judge you for them, it never failed to astonish you. After knowing him for quite a while, you knew that although Yuno was patient, he also had a side where frustration could take him over. 

You've seen him angry, comforted him through sadness, and you've never thought of him as a bad person- not even once. You remembered when he snubbed you for the first time, finding out that you had gone on a date with the waiter who worked in a restaurant nearby. No, he wasn't mean or harsh, but the cold impression he left on you for a few days made you question his motives. 

But you let it pass since you only said yes to the waiter because you wanted to stop thinking about Yuno. You always thought (and so did he), why risk ruining a dynamic that was already well set in stone? 

"Are you going from the back too? I think that's where they collect mass orders," you asked, not knowing if Yuno would be going from the back towards the wedding's area.

"I'm going from the east entrance, straight to the venue." he answered, going straight to where you needed to be, "But, I'm pretty sure you'll need some help with those boxes, and I'll need help with the bouquets. We'll drop off yours first, then go to mine." 

"Ooh! Smart, smart." you acknowledged, liking the fact you wouldn't be separated from Yuno at Villa Cora. 

"As if I have ever been stupid." Yuno bickered. 

"Mhm." you sarcastically agreed, unbuckling the seatbelt at the same time as him to get out of the truck. 

Heading to the trunk, Yuno opened it and helped you take your things into the villa. After chattering about with the stock manager, who checked the boxes and assured everything was safe, you two were then given clear instructions on how to get to the wedding venue. 

In the short drive there, you told Yuno how satisfied you felt to drop off the hundreds of taper candles you had made in a short period, not being able to count the number of times you had to put a pain relief patch on your neck from crouching too much. 

"Yuno, it's fine," you said sternly, assuring that hard work came with a bit of pain, "I'm used to it, you know that-"

"Woah." you both said in unison, looking at how the venue looked from the outside. It seemed that Yuno's bouquets were the finishing touches, as everything was mostly set already. Like the colour of the flowers he had chosen, the decorations were white and gold, with a few turquoise touches. 

Elegant and enchanting was how you could explain it. 

You've always had a complicated relationship with weddings. You didn't know if you loved or hated them. You questioned the concept of loving somebody so much that the law had to be involved. Why couldn't the universe just let love be love and not need a marriage's social construct? Or registering your names into city hall to proclaim the marriage? 

But at the same time, with the weddings you had gone to (which was your aunt's third wedding, your older brother's, and your eldest cousin), you were not in awe by the beauty of them. 

 And you've always had dreams of saying those "I do's" or vows with tears streaming down your face, your face not beaming from them but from your eternal happiness to be bound to the person who's it. 

But as you were lost thought about weddings, it seemed that your body had acted on its own when you realized that Yuno had settled all the crates. You two were already in the venue, Yuno greeting the bride who apparently was friends with one of his friends. 

"I really didn't know that!" Yuno exclaimed, "Oh, excuse me. This is my... friend, Y/N. She works at a candle shop beside me and just dropped off an order for the villa."

You always liked it when Yuno spoke Italian. Anyone in the world could say Spanish or French were the two most romantic languages, but you would oppose. When Yuno began to speak in the language you had to learn before coming to Florence, you began to feel lightheaded hearing how he sounded. 

All too attractive for you to take in. 

"Y/N! It's nice to meet you, I'm Sofia. I'm the bride for today's wedding!" 

"It's very nice to meet you too. Everything is so beautiful," you then faced Sofia after looking around and shaking her hand, "You look wonderful."

"Thank you. Yuno tells me that you make candles. When my house is settled, and I come back from my honeymoon, I will definitely call you." 

"Of course, I'd love to satisfy a new customer." you then looked at Yuno, who was standing by your left side, "Should we take care of the glass bouquets now?"

"Oh, of course, of course." he said, "Sofia, we'll set them up then leave right after. You said that the guests are coming soon?"

"What? You two don't have to leave so fast!" she exclaimed, "Some of my family members from another town suddenly can't come. I have a table that you two can settle in. Please, I insist."

You took a glance at yourself by facing down to your clothes, questioning if they were appropriate. Sofia argued that they were and said that it didn't matter. Although the wedding was set very extravagantly, she explained that her family came from "humble beginnings" and that they wouldn't care. 

As time went on, you two were almost done setting all of the small glass pots, one on the center of each table. They were simple, but it made you happy to see a bit of Yuno in a grand place you couldn't believe was real. Associating white with the colour of Heaven was right when it could be used to define Yuno. 

After all, he was your paradise. 

"You did a great job, Yuno," you admitted, walking beside him to the table that Sofia had said was for you two, "Everything goes so well together, and you worked so hard."

"Thank you." the porcelain skin of his face, reddened, "And thank you to you for accompanying me."

"You should never say thank you when I'm around. The things I do aren't for 'thank you's. I do them because I want to." you shrugged, "Besides, spending time with you like this is nice."

"You don't get too tired of seeing me everyday?"

"No, of course not. I'm surprised you're not tired of seeing ME-"

"I would never be," he answered too quickly. He knew because he noticed, and by the way you looked at him with widened eyes told him so. Clearing his throat, hand scratching the back of his neck, Yuno then looked at you. 

"I.. uh.." you paced awkwardly. You then saw people begin to fill the room, giving you an excuse, "I need to go to the bathroom and freshen up. I'll be right back. Okay?" 

"Okay," he answered, his eyes not leaving you until you were out of his sight, "Fuck."

He muttered to himself swears, confused on why he had to be painfully apparent on today of all days. He was relieved to some extent that you weren't nonchalant and cold, but he also questioned certain things you said that could stay on his mind for hours. 

Him not having to give thanks to you, you admitting you loved the time you spent with him, all those things lead to his question now; Are we just friends, or have we ever been since the first time we met? 

Friends don't love him like you do. 

Friends don't treat him like you do. 

Friends, it was something you both didn't want to be. And it was clear. Yuno, not defeated but wearied from all the uncertainty, sighing in the wooden chair provided at the venue. You, washing your face with cold water in the villa bathroom, taking a breath in to realize that he had hesitated when he introduced you as just his 'friend.' 

The night went on, admiring Yuno's bouquets displayed at the center of the round tables throughout the tall-ceiling room. You gave yourself some time when people started to come in to clean yourself up, not that you weren't well put already, but you were the only lady in casual wear. You felt a little bit shy, seeing the little kids who were in fancy, glittering dresses that made your nicely knit creme sweater to look shabby. 

When you got back to Yuno, he was sat at the table alone, admiring the decorations on the walls. You couldn't help but let the fondness you had for him take over your expression. Although he was a simple man, he loved paying attention to the details that surrounded him. Even if that meant using a different sized chain for different types of clothing, his consideration of those kinds of things made him better. 

Before he noticed you were there, you took the time to look around, which then automatically made you look forward towards the dance floor. Nearly all of the seats were empty, and crowds, as the bride and groom were dancing the center, had filled the space with excitement. 

Your eyes drifted back then to Yuno, who had now noticed that you were back from the bathroom. He had his elbow on the seat, looking back at you with his signature smile. You didn't know what it was, maybe it was the flare from all the lights or the pollen that was previously stuck in his hair, but it seemed that golden specks were beginning to circle around him. 

Your chest tightened as you silently came up to him, not knowing exactly what you were doing. Your body was impulsively moving on its own when you opened your palm to him and asked, 

"Would you care for a dance?" 

Your tone came off more as a joke, but you meant it all the same. It shouldn't be weird, right? You thought, this is what friends do. He stood up, taking your hand in his, immediately moving with a groove to the upbeat song. No, this doesn't seem weird at all, you thought again, as he waved your arms around with his. 

Goofing around as if no one was looking, not that they were, this was the most fun you had had in weeks. Not that the mornings you spent with Yuno weren't lovely enough, or the time you met up with your friends wasn't great, but it seemed that both you and Yuno never got to spend a moment like this. 

But as you two had your fun, every moment you two spent with each other got more and more agonizing. The uncertainty of seemingly never knowing that you two were absolutely in love with each other was consuming.

But tonight was different. 

Tonight, when the MC announced the next song to be slow, both you and Yuno were breathless as you both had sat down for a break. In unison, you both looked towards the speakers when it began to play James Blake's rendition of 'The First Time I Ever Saw Your Face.' 

"I love this song," you whispered. It reminded you of when you first met Yuno, coming into your shop with surface knowledge about Florence. 

"Me too," he said back, your gaze meeting his. 

Standing up once again, this time offering your hand in a more careful manner than before. For a bit of time, just for a bit, Yuno stared at your hand in doubt.

He didn't doubt that he wanted to dance with you because, God, you were the only person he'd like to dance to this song with. But wanted to know if this was real. 

With your hand in his, as he took it, it seemed a bit odd at first. It was different from all the times you had touched his hand to bandage a small wound from a few rose thorns, and it was different from when you invited him to dance before. Unlike then, it felt more still. More intimate. 

You only then noticed that it was just the two of you, not on the dance floor, near the end of the tables. Even the children were dancing with their parents, staying put to space. As it was a wedding, the focus was on the bride and groom. Barely any light emitted on you two, only the orange-toned lamps screwed into the wall structures being the only source of light. 

Dark, yet it felt like home. Filled with warmth and reassurance. 

Yuno spun your body with his hand, giggling when you dizzily caught yourself on his chest. Your right hand feeling the material of his sweater, the other hand interlaced with his. It seemed that the fun had faded, but not happiness. Nothing was heard from either of you except for the faltering breaths that both you and him let out. 

As you tried to somewhat space yourself away from his chest, Yuno let go of your left hand and instead snaked his arm around your waist. Although much doubt came into his head if it was appropriate to do, he could tell that you weren't pulling away any time soon. 

Maybe, if he was right, that meant something. 

Unlike before, you had given up on separating yourself from him, laying your head against his chest. Now that your left hand had been let go off, it trembled as you brought it to his shoulder. 

A surge suddenly ran through the both of you when the tips of your fingers accidentally brushed against the bare skin of his neck. It wasn't much, but you tried to blame it on his warm skin and your cold fingers. Knowing that wasn't true, you let out a shaky breath from your nostrils. 

You felt like you wanted to cry when Yuno placed his chin on the top of your head, cupping your right hand in his. Once again, the same feeling came about when your skin touched his. 

Something as simple as skin touching skin managed to make your heart palpitate, thankful he couldn't hear it. But as he couldn't listen to yours, you could listen to his. With your head against his chest, facing your intertwined hand in his, you counted the beats.

One-two ... one-two ... one-two ...

One-two .. one-two .. one-two.

It sped up, you thought. It made you wonder if you were making Yuno nervous; if you've ever made him nervous like this before. Maybe there was a reason you two never spent any nights together, often seeing each other in daylight that this was new. 

New yet inviting. 

"Do you hate it?" Yuno suddenly asked, feeling the vibrations against the shell of your ear when he spoke from his chest. 

"Hate what?" you asked, not knowing what he was implying.

"This." he said, "Us."

You pulled away from him. He looked down at you, his eyes filled with questions, hope, anything, and everything, including love. Again, the same feeling of wanting to cry washed over you. You weren't disgusted, miserable, or disappointed. In the rare case that you were feeling one too many things, it seemed that you wanted to shed tears of joy. 

This was it. You thought, He's it. 

Is this it? He asked himself, Will she finally understand? 

Your nose twitched, holding back with whatever strength you had left. For a split second, you averted your eyes to the crowd, then back to Yuno. The people’s appreances, the bride’s primarily, the venue, the flowers he had used, and they were all beautiful. 

But at this moment, the two of you were the defining image of passion at a wedding that wasn't even yours. 

Using a tone a tad higher than your usual voice, due to your attempt to not cry, you gave him the answer he had been waiting for two years. Well, not only him, but it was for both of you. For the sake that God, or whoever, whatever controlled the universe would finally let out a sigh of satisfaction when you answered, 

"I could get used to this." 

[ambersky0319]

If you're sure about more prompts, then I have another Loceit one since I've been binge reading them non-stop 💙💛 One too many wrong words -Robot, Unfeeling, Doesn't care- and Logan finally breaks down. He has a panic attack, one that no one helps him with, and suddenly he's non-verbal. Its not a choice he makes, it's a stress-induced side effect that he can't fix himself. The others think that it's a choice. He talks to Thomas through something like a notepad. (Part One)

Eventually he has another attack but this time someone helps him through it, but he can’t tell who as he lost his glasses somehow. Afterwards, Deceit starts trying to help. Either by getting the others attention to help them see Logan, or maybe helps him with his work, or helps him be distracted when he gets too stressed. (Part Two: Wow this is long, sorry) 

Maybe after months of non-verbal speaking, he falls in love with Deceit. He either finds his voice to tell him or writes it down somewhere for him to find on accident. Deceit reciprocates and tells him that he helped that second time. You can do purposeful unsympathetic Sides or not, that’s your choice. (All done. I hope you like it ❤️) 

———–

I loved writing this and I hope you enjoy reading it!!! This was such a fantastic idea!!

Genre: Hurt/Comfort

Warnings: Morally gray/unsympathetic sides (up to interpretation really but leaning heavily towards unsympathetic), panic attacks, Logan angst, overwhelming stress on a character, lmk if I need to add anything else!

Masterpost 

—————————–

Logan thought that he knew what caused panic attacks. He thought he knew how to stop them, or at least make them more bearable, too. But he had never actually experienced a panic attack before. All of his methods that had helped the others he discovered through research and helping them find the best way to get through their attacks.

While filming one video, however, things had gone way too far.

Logan admittedly doesn’t remember much of what led up to their dispute. Mostly numerous jabs at him, Logan guessed. But he could feel his chest starting to tighten, and Logan started lashing out a bit more with little thought as insult after insult was spat between him, Roman, and Virgil.

He doesn’t even remember now what had caused the attack. All Logan knew was that he was having one.

Logan sunk out immediately upon realizing that he was panicking, rising up into his room on unsteady legs. He was able to reach his door to lock it when they finally gave out on him and he collapsed, his breaths uneven and short. Logan squeezed his eyes together, leaning against his door and trying desperately to catch his breath.

Any technique he knew to help left his thoughts. He was failing and failing to get his breathing under control as he tucked his legs close to his chest, ducking his head to hide it behind them. He couldn’t feel anything yet he could feel everything, everything was louder too, but it was all a buzz. He didn’t know what to do. What could he do? Make sure no one saw him like this.

They would hate him, wouldn’t they? Maybe think he was faking, or copying Virgil. Because Logan didn’t feel emotions, right? How could Logic ever feel anything? Logic didn’t feel things. Logic provided information, sound reasoning, and a way to ground oneself. Logic didn’t have emotion tied to it. Logic never did.

So why was Logan unable to just pull himself out of this?

He stayed there, curled up by the door for what felt like hundreds of hours. According to the clock, though, it had been only about thirty-five minutes. Logan took deep breaths, his throat felt sore and his eyes burned as he wiped away tears. He didn’t have the energy to go out and see if they were still recording, or if everyone had just decided to end the shoot early. He could hear Patton and Roman bantering cheerfully from upstairs, and he sighed shakily.

Logan forced himself away from the door. His head felt as though it were throbbing, had he hit it on accident? He might’ve. He walked on legs that felt like jello and he felt physically exhausted. So, Logan did the only thing he thought he could manage and even tolerate.

He climbed into bed and fell into a restless sleep.

Logan flinched as someone knocked far too loudly on his door. He tried to respond, about to snap at whoever for waking him up. But nothing came out other than a hoarse, unintelligible sound. Logan frowned, rubbing his eyes roughly and grabbing his glasses. Maybe this was just a side effect of him having a panic attack. He knew Roman sometimes went nonverbal after particularly bad ones himself. He hoped it was temporary, much like the princely side.

Logan was almost completely out of bed when the person just walked away, and Logan frowned as he listened to their footsteps fade down the hall. He walked to the door and opened it, looking out and grimacing at how blinding everything was. But no one was there.

A note and what he assumed was dinner was at the foot of his door though, so he picked both up and went back into his room.

The note was from Patton, briefly apologizing for how Roman and Virgil acted but also saying how Logan should apologize too. Logan frowned at that before continuing to read. The rest was just a list of things that still needed to get done for the video, specifically more of Logan’s parts.

Logan set the note aside so he could focus on the leftovers Patton had brought him, opting to worry about the video later.

Logan going nonverbal, however, was not temporary.

No. It lasted far longer than any of the other sides had ever gone. And Logan knew it wasn’t by choice. So many times in the following month did he want to snap at someone or easily defend himself when the others made jokes about him. They hurt, after all. But he would just go ignored.

The others thought Logan had done this voluntarily. He didn’t tell them about the panic attack out of fear of being judged or ridiculed(he knew he was jumping to conclusions but he couldn’t stop thinking of all the things that could go wrong). So he endured it, turning to pen and paper to communicate. It was easier that way.

Logan stopped trying to defend himself altogether. And once that happened, the work started piling up. Suddenly, Logan was tasked with editing scripts, scheduling, keeping Thomas on track and not distracted(how he was supposed to do that when the others kept distracting Thomas themselves he did not know, but the blame was constantly pinned on him anyway), participating in the filming of videos, and editing said videos. All this work that the others just kind of shoved onto him. He couldn’t say no. They just ignored when he would try and write a response, saying he took too long and could’ve already started.

So, Logan had given up on fighting them.

He almost did become the robot he was so often compared to. He almost did stop caring. But then Patton would scold him for not putting enough heart into Thomas’s work, or Roman would say it’s not creative enough, or Virgil would claim it was too risky and he should start over. And Logan just grew more and more frustrated. He wasn’t getting better. He wanted so badly to get better, but he also wanted to stay their friend, he still wanted to have a seat at the metaphorical table.

It wasn’t much of a surprise to Logan when he slipped into another panic attack. It was after Roman had come in for the fifth time claiming Logan hadn’t done well with the most recent script’s edit, and that he should start over. He had ‘thanked’ Logan and called him 'their editing machine’ which just frustrated Logan even more as he was trying to work on a good time for Thomas to go to the doctors.

His door slammed closed, and Logan could feel the tightness in his chest and he found it hard to swallow. He pushed himself from his desk and stumbled slightly out of his chair to get to the base of his bed. He intended to sit on it but ended up collapsing just before he reached it. Logan didn’t care as he curled up, covering his mouth.

I’ll be alright. This is fine. I can do this. He thought. After this is over I can get back to work. I can finish that fucking script finally.

But what if Roman came in again? What if Patton or Virgil found something wrong with it instead? What if they had other ideas and asked Logan to somehow put them in, forcing Logan to rewrite the script? What if he just passes out here and the others thought he was wasting time? What if they got mad at him over this?

He choked out a sob and it hurt to even breathe, he wished he couldn’t, wished that when having a panic attack he could just stop.

Something had fallen beside Logan, or maybe had moved there itself? Logan couldn’t tell. He couldn’t feel his glasses on his face. Had he taken them off? But the thing moved again, and Logan couldn’t make them out through his tears or his terrible eyesight.

He did make out their voice, though.

“-an. I want you to do as I say, okay? It’s going to help you, I promise. You can hear me, right?”

Logan tried to follow the voice, keep up with it, and tried to let that be the only thing he focused on. He nodded slightly, inhaling sharply. The side made some sort of relieved noise.

They started to guide Logan through an exercise to help ground him, first helping with his breathing and then asking various yes or no questions. Logan would tap their hand in certain patterns and having to remember them helped him calm down as the other side asked him things in a soft and soothing voice.

Eventually, Logan had just passed out, his thoughts a low buzz as the exhaustion once again forced him asleep. When Logan woke up, his glasses we’re on the nightstand with a glass of water and a note saying he hoped Logan would feel better after some rest. The side hadn’t left any name, though.

Logan didn’t get to work immediately, he tried to unwind a bit so he didn’t have another panic attack so soon. He grabbed one of his favorite books, a greek mythology book from when Thomas was younger, and he piled most of his pillows and blankets into one corner of his bed so he could curl up and read comfortably. It was late, around 12 am (how long he’d been out he didn’t know, he found that he didn’t really care) and so Logan didn’t fear any of the others storming in to shove more work onto him or to scold him for not using his time wisely.

The next few days went by just the same as before. Except now, much to almost everyone’s displeasure(Logan really didn’t mind), Deceit was hanging around. He didn’t say why exactly but demanded to partake more in videos. The arc of the series was heading in a direction where Deceit was needed anyway, so the others couldn’t exactly argue against it.

Logan was pretty happy Deceit was around more now. Because Deceit made an effort to include Logan in discussions. When the others tried to brush Logan off, he’d momentarily silence them so Logan could share his own thoughts in videos, which the others had to at least evaluate.

One day Deceit knocked on Logan’s door before opening it a bit, poking his head in and when Logan smiled at him slightly, he took that as a sign he was allowed inside. Another thing Logan liked about Deceit- Deceit was patient and would wait for Logan to respond and didn’t just barge inside his room whenever he felt like it.

Logan had returned to the third video he was editing, his fingers hurt a bit from staying in the same position for almost days now but he was so close to happy done by their release dates. Then maybe Patton would get off his back for being unable to keep Thomas motivated and the fans happy.

Deceit settled himself on the edge of Logan’s bed. “What might our fair nerd be working on tonight?” Deceit asked, watching Logan over his shoulder. Logan glanced up at a list pinned to the shelf next to his computer and then pointed to it. Deceit squinted to read it better, and Logan didn’t see him frown.

He could hear the frown in his voice though. “You’re editing the season finale for Sanders Sides yourself?” Logan shrugged, and Deceit continued to read the list. There were still two more things on the list that would take a long time to finish, a few hours each at least. It was almost dinner.

“Do you want me to take on these last two scripts for you?”

Logan frowned, stopping where he was on the video and turning to look at Deceit, a puzzled expression on his face. “You’ve been working all day, Lo. It’s the least that I can do.”

Logan bit his lip. He grabbed his notepad and pen and quickly wrote something before handing it to Deceit.

Are you sure?

Deceit smiled gently and nodded. “Certainly.”

Logan relaxed slightly, though still looked hesitant as he grabbed the two scripts that still needed editing and passed them to the deceitful side. Deceit summoned his own laptop and got to work without any complaints.

Logan obviously finished editing the video before Deceit was even halfway done with editing his first script. He reached to take the second one instead, but Deceit grabbed his wrist gently and shook his head.

“Why don’t you get some dinner, and then maybe watch a documentary or something? You’ve done some great work already today and deserve to relax a bit.”

Logan almost fought against Deceit’s words, but his head hurt from listening to the loud voices of the others all day and his eyes stung from the light of the computer. Deceit watched as Logan silently agreed and left to go get some pizza from downstairs.

This went on for a long time. And Logan found himself enjoying the deceitful side’s company. He loved listening to Deceit talk about psychology or the different loopholes you could use in court, and Logan found himself becoming less and less stressed when Deceit was around. They split up the work the others pushed onto Logan and not only got done faster but also induced less stress on either of them.

Even when things did become too much for Logan, though, Deceit was always there, holding one of Logan’s favorite movies or a new documentary or offering a massage. Sometimes Deceit would read to Logan as Logan tried some low-stress activities like drawing.

It had been roughly half a year since Deceit started spending so much time with him. And that’s when it clicked with Logan concerning his new and originally annoying emotions.

He really, really liked Deceit.

However, right now was not the time to have this realization. Not when Deceit had his arms around Logan, holding him close as they rewatched Round Planet for the twentieth time. Logan tried not to ruin the calm atmosphere by shifting at all, though he seemed to have screwed that up because Deceit pulled away from him slightly.

“Lo, you alright?”

Logan nodded on instinct and he could practically see Deceit’s frown without even turning around.

“Logan…”

Logan bit his lip before sighing slightly and turning in Deceit’s arms. Deceit’s arms dropped from his middle to settle at Logan’s waist, and Logan couldn’t help but think about how perfect Deceit’s hands felt there.

God, I’m pathetic.

Deceit tilted his head at Logan before reaching for the logical side’s notepad and pen, passing it to him and pairing their show. “What’s on your mind?”

Logan accepted both of the objects held out to him. He glanced from the notepad to Deceit’s monochromatic eyes then back to the pad, worrying at his bottom lip slightly. Deceit just waited quietly, letting Logan take his time to think through what he wanted to write.

Logan wrote something down multiple times, before borrowing his brow and shaking his head, tearing the paper and coupling it before tossing it to the trash can. It wasn’t until the fourth note did he finally hand Deceit the notepad, his cheeks and ears flushed a dark red.

I think I might really, really like you.

Deceit didn’t dare get his hopes up, but he could definitely feel his heart skip a few beats as he thought of the implications of Logan’s words.

“Just so I don’t misinterpret,” Deceit began, looking up from the paper in his hand. “You mean romantically, right? You like me romantically?”

Logan groaned slightly, hiding his face in his hands as he only grew darker. Deceit could imagine him saying to shut up or possibly calling it stupid. But he nodded behind his hands.

Deceit smiled brightly, it still felt foreign to him to smile like this and was a rare sight only Logan ever got to see. Deceit gently pried Logan’s hands away from his face and used another one of his hands to tilt Logan’s chin up.

“I like you too, Logan. I like you a lot.”

Logan smiled almost shyly as he shuffled closer to Deceit and pulled him into a proper hug, burying his warm face against the scales on Deceit’s neck. Deceit laughed, soft and fond, as he held Logan close again and he pressed the gentlest of kisses to Logan’s temple.

A few minutes passed by like that, holding one another close in comfortable silence. But then Deceit broke it with a whisper.

“I have something to tell you, Lo.”

Logan pulled his head from Deceit’s neck, tilting his head.

“You remember your second panic attack, the one you said you don’t know who helped you?”

Logan thought back to it before nodding. In reality, he didn’t remember much about it.

“I was the one who helped.” Deceit rubbed the back of his neck slightly. He smiled softly at Logan as Logan processed what he was saying.

Logan’s expression changed from mild concern to delight in seconds though, and he pulled Deceit closer, almost connecting their lips without thinking. But then he froze, drawing back slightly and he held Deceit’s gaze.

Deceit laughed slightly, breath fanning over Logan’s face before nodding and leaning closer himself, but he let Logan control the kiss. It was gentle as Logan cupped Deceit’s cheeks, Deceit’s multiple arms snaking around Logan’s waist and middle to hold him as close as possible.

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[xxwritemeastoryxx]

These Violent Delights Ch. 3

Hidden in Plain Sight

Author: xxwritemeastoryxx

Pairings: Elijah Mikaelson x OC

Word Count: 4.2K

Warnings: None that I can think of?

Author’s Note: I know, this one is late. But at least it’s done, right? XD Anyways, we are about to get into things. 

Feedback gives me life and motivation for future things. ♥

<< Chapter 2 || Series Masterlist || Chapter 4 >>

The moment Adriana sat down in the booth with Bonnie and Elena, it had been evident that the main reason for being there wasn't there yet. As her brown eyes scanned the room, she couldn't help but speak her mind. "I see that Caroline is running late."

Elena sighed as she placed her hands on the table. "We've been under surveillance since Damon was arrested. Seeing as what is being given to you today, she needed to make sure that she gave them the slip before making her way over to us."

Adriana nodded her head in understanding. While it was news to her that they were being watched, it wasn't unusual. For as many times a black card was dropped off with her, they were usually late. 

"Are you sure this is something you want to do?" Bonnie asked, looking over at Adriana.

It wasn't until recently that they had found out who Damon's go-to was. Once the Salvatores were sent to Prison, Elena and Caroline were in charge of the simpler things. Including knowing the details of who to call when something, or someone, needed to be taken care of. 

When Elena found out Adriana had been 'Rosa', Everything had seemed to make sense. With as close as Giuseppe and Victor had been, it wasn't a huge surprise to see that Damon and Adriana had become close in their line of work just as their parents had been. At least Elena knew it was someone they could trust and not some hired contract that could turn on Damon or even Stefan. 

Adriana huffed a laugh. "This is Damon we are talking about. I don't think I'd be able to walk away from helping him. With as much business he's sent my way, I'd feel like if I'd be betraying him if I didn't do this for him." A thought crossed her mind. "Any idea who is on the card?"

Elena shook her head. "Damon didn't say. Mostly because it's hard to get any information out without it being overheard. I would say Caroline would know, but she only knows how to get the encryption onto the card. Whoever is on the card, Damon made them a top priority. We are supposed to help in any way that we can."

"Even though you guys are supposed to help, there isn't much that you guys can do once I start." Adriana said, looking between the two. "I don't want you guys anywhere near where it is going to happen. Especially since you have ties to Damon."

"We definitely have a plan." Caroline said as she plopped herself into the seat next to Elena. "Damon and Stefan want us away for the weekend. So we are going on an all-girls vacation. Which you are required to join once things are done."

Adriana rolled her eyes. "Typical Damon and his weekend getaways for his girls."

She wouldn't say it out loud, but that meant there would be a double with the girls until she joined them. But at Least Adriana knew there was a plan in place to protect her friends. With this one being close to home, Adriana wouldn't risk anyone that she knew. It would make things a complicated mess.

"Anyways, here are the plane tickets, and hotel key for that weekend." Caroline said as she handed Adriana an envelope. As Adriana took it, she knew that the black card was hidden neatly within its contents.

The contents felt heavy in Adriana's hand as she pulled it closer to her. This was something she wouldn't be letting out of her sight any time soon. While the card wouldn't look out of the ordinary to anyone else if she had left it out, she still wouldn't take the risk. 

"When are we leaving?" Adriana asked.

"In a week." Caroline said with a nod. "Though there is a two day period that we are expecting delays."

That had confirmed what Adriana knew. She'd have a week to go over the information she now had and make her plans. In a week, her friends would be leaving, and Adriana would have her cover story. The day after they left, she'd make her move. While most clients put a rush on things, Damon made her timeline more relaxed. It made it easier to get the upper hand she needed. 

"That gives me plenty of time to pack without you hating on every piece of clothing I own." A smirk grew on her lips as Adriana began to joke.

It was a way to ease the tension she was beginning to feel. A coded discussion wasn't what they were used to having with each other. They were used to being carefree in their conversations. Now that it felt off, Adriana wanted to fix it. 

Caroline rolled her eyes. "You better have at least bought some amazing swimsuits while you were out and about. Otherwise, I will judge the whole time."

Bonnie and Elena laughed at the two. The conversation that followed had made them feel as if they were back in High School. The flow of conversation came so naturally to them. They talked about their lives after high school. Ten years of their lives, they hadn't known what Adriana had been up to or vice versa.

_____

The moment Klaus's phone went off, they knew their night out at the bar was about to end. Even though it was their night off, it seemed that it wasn't going to be staying that way. Once Klaus answered the phone, Marcel and Elijah waited to find out what they would be assigned to. 

Klaus' eyes widened as he listened to the voice on the other line. He turned in his seat, his eyes landing on the table where the women were sitting. He watched as they were laughing at something that had been said between them. 

"I understand." He mumbled into the phone, turning his attention back to Elijah and Marcel. He could easily see the look of curiosity displayed on their faces. "We'll bring her in for questioning." Without another word, he hung up the phone. 

"Who exactly are we bringing in?" Elijah asked, already reaching over and grabbing his jacket. 

Klaus shook his head. "I will be bringing in Caroline for questioning. She made the drop earlier, and they want her down the at the station for questioning. You and Marcel will be sticking together. Rosa is officially in town and if she has her mark, it wont be long before you are potentially at risk."

Both Marcel and Elijah rolled their eyes. "How the hell did I get stuck on babysitting duty?" Marcel asked. 

"If you'd like to get the death glares by taking Caroline in, be my guest. I can stay here and be sure my brother isn't used for potential target practice." Klaus said with a raised brow.

"How about we not talk as if I am not here?" Elijah asked as he looked between the two. "I do know how to protect myself."

"I'm sure her long list of victims said the same thing." Marcel noted. "Right before she took their lives without ever laying an eye on her."

"We don't know for sure if I am even her intended target." Elijah said with a shake of his head.

"From what Rebekah said," Klaus stood and collected his things. "Caroline handed an envelope to a woman before getting into her car. The team that watched her believed the woman was Rosa and followed her, losing sight of Caroline. The moment that woman knew she was being followed, she made damn sure she wouldn't be able to give up any details."

"Meaning in the process, Caroline was able to give the real Rosa the black card without anyone knowing when or to who." Elijah shook his head. If he had been there, he would have sent one team with Caroline and another with the woman to ensure nothing was a miss. 

"Looks like it will be a few days of us sticking together." Marcel said, giving Elijah an apologetic look. 

Klaus walked away from the booth as Elijah began muttering about making Marcel's life hell at work. An amused smirk had been on his face as he walked away. His brother never did like just sitting around when he could be at the front of the action. 

As he reached the table, he could hear the women laughing at something Elena said. As he came to a stop at the table, he cleared his throat, getting their attention. The moment Klaus had it, he didn't miss the glares he got from three of them and the shocked look he had gotten from Adriana. 

"It's good to see you, Adri." He said with a nod of his head as he looked over at Adriana. "I hate to break up the chance of catching up," he turned his attention towards Caroline. "unfortunately, duty calls and this isn't a friendly visit. I'm going to have to ask you to come down to the station."

"What the hell, Klaus." Bonnie said, shaking her head. "She hasn't done anything but sit here and-"

"It's okay, Bonnie." Caroline cut her off. She stood up from her seat, knowing that it would be easier to just go than make a scene. "Just call your dad for me?" She turned her attention towards Adriana. "Welcome to our knew normal."

"What is this about?" Adriana asked, looking over at Klaus."

Klaus sighed. "Just some routine questions. She'll be free to go later this evening."

Adriana stood up in front of Klaus. Compared to the man, she was shorter than him. But the way Adriana currently held herself, it almost made Klaus want to shrink in size. She had always kept her ground, and it was a reminder that she never took any shit from anyone.

"Routine questions as in you have something against her?" She questioned as she looked up at Klaus. "Or routine questions that help you solve a case?"

An eyebrow raised on Klaus' face. "You know I can't discuss it."

Adriana laughed. It was unsettling to Klaus and the others that were there with the two. "We both know there's a fine line on what you can and can't talk about. In case you've forgotten, I've been on the other side of a Mikaelson questioning for years. There are ways you can discuss it without jeopardizing whatever case you are working on."

"Adriana, he's just doing his job." Elijah's voice filled the air. 

Adriana never took her eyes off of Klaus. It surprised her how much her heart picked up at the sound of Elijah's voice. But as much as she wanted to turn and see him for the first time in ten years, she wasn't about to back down.

"Adri," Caroline said, coming over to stand beside her and placing a hand on her arm. "Elijah's right. This is just their job. I'll be out of there in time for dinner. Plus, you don't need to make things harder on yourself if they drag you down there with me."

Adriana looked over at Caroline, her face softening. Sighing, she reached over and picked up her bag, pulling out a business card. "While I know Bonnie's dad can do one hell of a job," she handed the card to Caroline. "call this lawyer. Let her know Adri told you. She'll be there in record time."

Caroline laughed. "Leave it to you to have everything on stand by."

A smirk pulled at Adriana's lips. "It's kind of my job to be that person."

The girls watched as Caroline left with Klaus out of the bar. There was a bit of guilt going through Adriana. She knew what this was about. Caroline was going to be questioned about the drop she made at some point today. And while it was unknown to Adriana as to the details of earlier events, she felt like this one was going to come back and bite her in the ass.

"Well there went that." Elena said as she stood up from her seat. "I'll see you both tonight?" She asked as she grabbed her things.

"You don't have to leave, yet." Adriana said, looking over at Elena. She didn't want to miss the chance for them to enjoy their time together.

Bonnie sighed. "We've got a few things we need to go take care of. But we'll be there for dinner. " Bonnie pulled Adriana into a hug. "Plus, by the look on Elijah's face, it seems like he wants to speak with you, and I'd hate for us to get in the way of that conversation." She whispered. 

For the first time that night, Adriana looked over at Elijah. While patient as ever, Bonnie had been right. She could see it on his face that Elijah wanted to speak with her. But Adriana also didn't miss the way her heart picked up once more as she took in his appearance. 

Time had been kind to him. If she once believed she enjoyed how he looked, now that seemed to be intensified. Where he had one wore jeans and shirts had been traded for a suit that looked amazing on him. 

There had been so much left unsaid between the two of them. Ten years' worth of words could have been said between them if Adriana had just stayed.  But since she left without saying a word, it made it difficult to even get the first words between them started. 

"We'll give you two some space." Elena said, giving them a small smile. "I'll call when Care is out."

Adriana nodded her head and watched her friends leave before she looked back at Elijah. She tried thinking of something to say. After a moment, she had it. "Can I just say that I was a horrible best friend?"

A small chuckle passed Elijah's lips. "I agree. There is quite a bit you've left me out of."

"How about a drink?" She asked, gesturing to the now empty booth. "And I'll try and make up for it." 

_____

Her fingers ran over the rim of the wine glass in front of her. "Do you remember what it was like to be kids?" She asked, looking over at Elijah for a moment before looking back towards the glass. "Where we weren't defined by the actions of our parents?"

Elijah sat back in his seat, lifting his glass up to his lips to take a sip of the wine. "It was easier to believe that we could get away from the world that surrounded us. If only it had been that easy."

She shook her head and smiled. "You managed to get out of Mikael's shadow. He never made detective. He was just a cop, not afraid to do anything to get what he wanted."

He shook his head. The thought of his father's days as a cop had been a long-forgotten memory. Adriana had brought those memories to light so easily. He could remember there was only ever one family his father kept harassing the majority of the time. And he was currently looking at a member of that family. 

"You've managed to get out of your's as well." Elijah noted. "You haven't been home in years, traveling the world from what I hear. What your family was responsible for was never something you took on. Continuing the family business, as they say."

"Imagine if I did?" She asked. "The two best of friends on the opposite sides of the law. Your dad would throw a fit." A smirk pulled at her lips as she said the words. If only Elijah knew how wrong he was. 

He chuckled. "He would have thrown a fit over several things if he had only known. Aren't I right, Rosa?"

Hearing the nickname come from Elijah had hit differently. She had heard it several times from other people over the years. She heard it every time someone hired her. But hearing it coming from Elijah, it always felt different.

"I'm surprised you remember that." She said, giving him a smile.

"How could I forget?" He asked as he leaned forward in his seat. "I was the one that gave you that nickname."

"I feel like I was a different person when you gave it." She admitted. "I haven't been home in so long that the Adriana Vega that loved this city looks like a distant memory."

"Whatever happened at your mother's must have been one hell of a visit." He noted. He could still remember the day he heard that she left for her mothers. 

Adriana sighed. "I never went to my mothers." The look she got from Elijah at that moment hurt her. "After she left us, I hated it. She never accepted my calls or even checked in on me. After graduation, a family friend invited me to work with her for the summer. I loved it so much out there that I couldn't bring myself to come back."

"You had us worried when you didn't." There was hurt in his voice that she hadn't missed. "I thought for sure you would have come back. "

"I wanted to." She nodded her head. "But I couldn't bring myself to come back. I kept telling myself that I would go home and see everyone and explain why I left, but I couldn't bring myself to. Eventually, a letter just seemed like the best way to say goodbye to an old life."

Elijah nodded his head in understanding. Adriana had wanted an out from the world that she had been a part of in New Orleans. Even though he understood, it still hurt him that she left without telling him. 

"Has this new life of yours been kind to you?" He asked. Fishing for information that he wasn't sure he wanted to hear. 

She shrugged her shoulders. "As kind as it can be for someone that travels a lot. " She picked up her glass, taking a drink. "Work keeps me busy enough, the pay is great that I can retire soon." She chuckled slightly. "But it's lonely compared to the life I had here."

It was the first time she had ever said that out loud. But speaking with Elijah made it so easy to come up. He used to be the person she could say anything to. They could talk about any of their problems out with each other. It seemed that aspect hadn't changed after all those years. 

Adriana missed that. Being a mercenary meant having little to no friends or connections. The less that people knew about her life, the better things were. Settling down wasn't an option. Not when a target could be placed on them for some of the jobs she had done. 

Elijah sighed. "I take it there was another reason for you coming home? Otherwise, I believe you would have been back sooner if you missed the people." 

A small smirk pulled at her lips. "If you are trying to ask me if I missed you, the answer would be yes." 

Elijah chuckled as a small smile formed on his lips. "Good to know. Though if that was the case, why not just tell me?"

Adriana sighed as she looked down at the glass. Several things crossed her mind at that moment. She turned down a different path than Elijah had when she left home. He chose the career he always wanted while she followed a darker path. How could she ever explain that to him?

"You were the first person I wanted to tell." She admitted as she looked over at him. "I wanted to tell you that I was packing up my bags and leaving."

"Why didn't you?" He asked curiously.

"You would have stopped me from leaving." She hadn't missed the shock and confusion that played on his expressions at her words. "Rebekah told me about your summer plans for us."

Elijah's shoulders slumped slightly. His mind quickly jumping to conclusions. He had always believed that there was a reason she didn't tell him she was leaving. He felt at that moment, with those words, he had gotten his answer. 

Seeing his face, Adriana reached over and placed her hand on his. "I would have stayed and enjoyed that summer with you. Life would have been different.  And I did want that. I could have told you about the job and we could have worked something out. But what would have happened to us once I decided I wasn't coming home?"

"We'll never know since you made the decision on your own." He said as he looked her in the eye. 

A huff passed her lips as she pulled her hand back. "Would you have left your family for years at a time?" She asked, watching his reactions. "Or handle the fact that I was traveling more than being at home? And you can't say that you would have tried the traveling life. Because I know you, Elijah. You wouldn't have been here to protect your siblings from Mikael."

Elijah looked away as he took in her words. She wasn't wrong about anything she had just said. Adriana knew him well enough that she knew his thought process without ever needing to speak with him. 

If he had left with her, he wouldn't have been there for his siblings. His father had taken plenty of his anger out on his siblings. It was Elijah that tried his best to keep them safe. And if he stayed, he wasn't sure if he could take Adriana being gone for as long as she been speaking about.

"Maybe it was for the best that we hadn't." He said with a nod of his head a moment later. "I wouldn't have been able to live with myself if you had stayed and given up the opportunity you've had."

Before Adriana could voice her thoughts, her phone went off. Her eyes drifted to the phone screen, seeing Elena's number pop up. She was able to scan the message before the notification closed. 

 "Caroline's out." She said softly. "We're still meeting for dinner. I know our conversation is probably far from over..."

Elijah nodded his head. "Go. I assure you it is still rather easy to get in contact with me. " He reached into his pocket, grabbing his wallet and pulling out his card. "But just in case, here's my card."

A smile pulled at her lips as she took the card. "Never thought I'd see the day where Elijah Mikaelson has his own business card."

He chuckled softly. "It's a good thing you've come home, then." 

Adriana's smile grew a little more at his words. "I'm happy to be home, even if it's only for a while." She got up out of her seat and collected her things. "I'll try not to be a stranger."

"I hope not." He said as he stood as well. Since she was leaving, he had no other reason to be there. 

With one last smile, Adriana walked away from the booth and out the door. Elijah had watched as she had, hoping that this wasn't the last time they spoke. He'd hate for things to be left as they were. 

"Well," Marcel said as he came up and patted Elijah's back. "You could feel the tension from the other side of the place."

Elijah rolled his eyes. "Say another word, and you'll be buried in paperwork. "

Marcel raised his hands in surrender. Though a smirk played on his lips as he did. 

_____

The moment Adriana got to her car, she pulled an encrypted tablet out from the glovebox. The moment it was powered up, she pulled the envelope out that Caroline gave her. Just as she expected, the black card had been hidden within the pocket meant to hold the hotel key. 

Removing the small SD card that had been hidden in its side, Adriana popped it into the tablet. As the tablet worked to unseal the files, her eyes wandered. As they did, she watched as Elijah and Marcel began to walk out of the bar, a small smile pulling at her lips. 

The ding that came from the tablet made her look down at it before her eyes widened. Her heart dropped as she took in the information on the screen. A moment later, her head shot up, her eyes scanning the area until landing on Elijah getting into the car with Marcel. 

She watched as they spoke to each other for a moment before driving away. As they did, Adriana was beginning to hate that she took this job. She never wanted her work to interfere with her past. And yet it was about to do that. 

She could only hear her father's words as she looked back at the screen. I understand the thrill of it all. To want to be able to get the money and have power all at the same time. But one of these days, you'll mess up in a way that you can't come back from. 

On the tablet, there was an image similar to what she had seen moments ago. Elijah and Marcel holding coffee in their hands and smiles on their faces as they were getting into the car. At the bottom of the image was writing that was clear as day. 

Elijah Mikaelson. You have a week, Rosa. Use it wisely. 

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⚔️⚔️🏰🐲😭 DMODT last chapter. Full draft... unless I've forgotten something? 85

*** Epilogue *** It'd been a little over a year and half since Eren had last stepped foot in Mitras. The day they'd finally left the castle, both Armin and Mikasa had pleaded with him to stay, but he couldn't. It was time to leave, to start a real life with Levi outside the city and despite all the tears, he was excited. Excited for a future for his family where they'd no longer be expected to be anyone but themselves. It hadn't been easy to reestablish themselves, but the plot of land they wanted had been transferred into their family name, Armin making sure no matter what came that the their line would always own the plot a few hundred metres down from where construction of the orphanage began the following summer. Their own adventures with building were a fiasco. Having the space of the tower had been nice, but now he had children to think of, and with the clutch on the way, Eren only wanted enough space for their small family. His own little cottage, where he'd be playing housekeeper and wife. Levi felt it should be bigger for when guests came, which resulted in a compromise. Levi's study was built to back the nursery, with space for a spare bed should guests come. Using his magic to raise the walls from the ground, he'd felt like he was cheating, simply turning up to the middle of nowhere and magicking their house into existence. The walls he could do. The plumbing... not so much, and his skills with roof making... were nonexistent. Well, they existed, they were just slightly crooked... Levi laughing far too hard at his attempts, though after promised he'd take care of it, it was nearly a month of leaking ceilings before he did, and that was because his pride wouldn't accept help from the team of builders Armin had hired for the orphanage. They'd had a great laugh too. Much to Eren's embarrassment. It wasn't like he knew the building crew would be coming out to survey the orphanage site before they'd fixed things up. Yet, despite all that, Eren was having the time of his life. Luca loved the space, happy to run around and annoy anything that moved. They'd brought chicken with them when they'd left the city, only Luca didn't know they weren't for playing. More than a few sent to early deaths by the dragon trying to befriend them. Not making the same mistake twice, Levi built a barn to right of the house, space outside the structure for their horses, which gradually grew to house their cow, and then the replacement chickens Farlan and Isabel brought out with them on their first visit. Up from the barn Levi built a greenhouse for his herb collection, which Eren left to the professionals when it came to the glass fit out of the space. Gradually, over the next six months their home came together. Levi's vegetable patch requiring a small infusion of magic secretly more than once. His husband tried his hardest, but... Eren didn't know he kept killing everything. You sew the seeds. You water everything in. You weed and watch it grow. Somehow things went from being green one day, to yellow and brown withered sticks of sadness the next. After the third failed crop, the omega couldn't let his alpha continue to suffer. Denying all knowledge of magical intervention, yet they both knew it was there, but neither of them spoke of it. Especially when comparing Levi's vegetable patch with Eren's small orchard. They'd purchased a variety of fruits and vegetables when leaving Mitras in an attempt to stock up, which didn't happen with Luca around, so Eren had sewn the remnants and now was the proud owner of some very impressive apple trees that were starting to encroach on the left side of their cottage. Luca especially appreciated being able to steal apples when he felt, though most of his time was still spent chasing after Viren. The pair of them... he loved them... but they were as thick as thieves. If they could be in out, out of it, covered in it, or hiding it, they were. Viren's first steps had been at the castle, their pup then deciding to make them wait a week before trying again... and after that... he never stopped moving. Each time Eren took his eyes off him, he was off. More than once Luca had to hook him by his nappy to prevent his escape, and more than once he'd turned around for what seemed half a second only to turn back to find Luca covered in Viren's food... mostly thrown at him. Each day his son looked more like Levi, right down to the look of annoyance they'd both share when scolded over spilling water from the bath. Their house might not be the nicest, but Eren was extremely proud of it... once things had been straightened out. He loved to watch Levi and Viren in the garden, his husband would sit their son in his lap to pull weeds, or when he Levi would put Viren on the back of their cow. He honestly didn't know who looked more confused, but each time Viren would giggle and scream for his "daddy". Most of the time the pair were together outside, Luca would inside with him. Being too pregnant to pick him, Luca had had to conquer climbing up on the kitchen bench on his own. A space definitely not made for their son, but mercifully his growth had slowed down so he could only just wedge himself there, ready for pats, kisses, rubs and most importantly left over food. Levi was just as bad when he was cooking. As his pregnancy had progressed, his husband treated him like a princess while fucking him like a whore. Every single chore below waist level was taken care of by his alpha, and every single surface in their house had been christened at least once... Armin claiming he was traumatised for life from over hearing them when he and Mikasa came to visit for Eren's birthday. The joke was on him, they'd fallen into bed on the spare bed Armin was using earlier the same day... then we're forced to strip the whole bed with how carried away they'd been. Now... now he was regretting that sex ever existed. Levi had gone on the fortnightly run to the city for supplies, and almost the moment his mate had left, his waters had broken. Entertaining a toddler while cursing contractions and attempting to control his magic, was not making for a fun morning at all. With Viren on his hip, Eren was making breakfast when the telltale sudden short gushing feel had come, then the telltale trickle as the warmth spread down his inner thighs. Levi hadn't wanted to leave, teasing him over how sweet he'd smelt that morning as they lazed in bed basking in each other's warmth. Assuring him he'd be fine, he'd waved his husband off. Swearing without thinking, his son had promptly echoed his cry of "fuck", in his cute little voice... all of which had brought him to still standing in the kitchen attempting to make Viren's breakfast while Luca clawed at the kitchen door, probably trying to attempt to free himself so he could go find Levi and not have to deal with him in labour alone. With tears rolling down his face, rising panic and a contractions that he was sure he was never going to get used to, all he wanted to do was curl up in their nest and cry until Levi came home. * Reaching the end of the road to their property, Levi didn't feel right. Eren had assured him that he was alright, that nothing would happen while he was in town, and that nothing would happen for a few more weeks. Yet, the feeling in his gut was telling him otherwise. Faced with either riding home to find Eren perfectly fine and laughing in his face, or heading to town only to come home to some kind of emergency, he knew which he'd take. Unhitching the wagon from his horse, it was a choice that took no thought at all. The past year and a half hadn't all been sun and roses, in the early days he wasn't sure how they didn't kill each other, then there were Eren's nightmares, his nightmares, a leaking roof and lack plumbing... some days it was a damn miracle they'd even got their house together in the end. Mounting his horse, the filly shifted skittishly, barely used for much more than a cart horse. Nudging his heels into her sides, she reared, nearly throwing him in the process. God. He missed his old horse. Holding his reins tighter, her urged her into a gallop, kicking up dust recklessly as he raced to return home. Leaving his horse next to the front door, Levi didn't bother taking off his muddied boots as he jogged into their house, Eren would probably yell at him, but that was a discussion for another time. The moment he'd entered their yard he could feel his omega's pain. His gut feeling proving right again. Almost breaking the kitchen door down, he bellowed "Eren!" Only to realise Eren was still in the kitchen, Viren on his hip as he leaned heavily against the kitchen counter, Luca chirping and trilling as he nudged at Levi's legs "Levi... it's... it's started... I'm sorry..." What. Wait... oh... oh fuck... rushing to his side, he lifted Viren off Eren's hip "Ok. It's a bit early, but it's ok. What do you need?" Eren let out a long breath "I need to shower. Viren and Luca need breakfast..." "Ok... sh... sugar. Ok" Piping up, Viren smacked him with his hand "Fck" Blinking at his boy, he then shot Eren an accusing look "I didn't mean to. My waters broke and it slipped out... you'd be swearing too if you looked like someone had stuffed you with melons" By a year, Eren had looked like he was well and truly stuffed, by 13 months he was a horny mess with constant back pain. 15 months he looked like he couldn't get any damn bigger without physically bursting, it'd eased a little but he was well and truly bred to the brim "Let me get the boys settled. I don't want you getting in and out the bath on your own" "Mmm... mmm... ok... why is it that the contractions are always worse than the pushing part?" The pushing part was the part that had him worried. The contractions didn't cause Eren to shit blood or spend weeks torn and hurting... "Levi, don't you dare go pale like that. This is happening. It's going to take a few hours, but this is happening" "Sorry. You're right. Whatever you need" Giving him a pained smile, Eren pushed himself up to stand, his hands going to his hips as he whined softly in discomfort "Shower, and you'll need to write to Historia. She's supposed to be coming next week to stay, but fuck being in labour for that long" "Then... nest?" There nest had gone up nearly a month and a half ago, Eren blushing adorably when Levi had sprung him layering his clothes into their sheets and furs "Barn... need to organise the barn..." Out of concern for their house, they'd made space in the outer half of the barn where the hay usually lived. There was no way Eren could give birth anally with the size of the eggs he was carrying "Ok. Breakfast for the boys, shower and barn" "What did you do with the horse and cart?" "Well..." "I married an idiot. You feed the kids, I'm going to shower" "You're not getting in alone" "There's a chair. I'll be fine" "Eren..." Raising his scolding finger at him, Levi swallowed down a smile "Don't give that. I was freaking out until you walked through that door. You're here now... don't... don't make me think I have to go through this alone" Reaching out, Levi wrapped an arm around his omega "You're not alone. You're not. I could feel something was wrong. I couldn't go to town because I was so worried for you... I'm here now... you're not alone" Eren smelt intoxicating, Levi forced to pull away "You're ok, Sweet Boy. You're ok. I've got the boys, you shower and I'll be right in" Luca wouldn't settle, for the first time that Levi could remember the little dragon didn't want his food. He was still trying to nudge and rub against Levi's legs, pushing him towards the bathroom door, only for a crashing noise to come from the direction of the bathroom. Yelling at Luca to look after Viren, Levi ran straight into the kitchen door in his hurry to reach Eren, grazing himself impressively on the the wall as then tried to get through the door before it was open enough. Striding through to the bathroom, he found the shower rack had broken, causing the commotion. Eren was sitting in the shower chair he'd insisted on leaving in there given how helpful it'd been last time, trying to pick things up with his toes "What are you doing?" "I tried a little magic... and the rack fell down" "You scared the shit out of me. I thought I was rushing in here to find you on the floor" "I'm fine. My magic's just... off" "That's it. Shower time is over" His instincts couldn't take it "I only just got in!" "I can't... you can bath... but I can't..." Eren's face softened, Levi realising he was tearing up. Fuck. He'd forgotten to write to Historia and now his alpha was getting the better of him, not wanting anyone close to Eren at all "I'm ok. But if you want to me bath, you kind of need to help me?" "Sorry. I..." "Levi, it's ok. We talked about this. I'm going to be ok... it's going to be ok. Here, come here. Luca can watch Viren" It wasn't ok. Viren's birth had been hard... he'd truly thought Eren was going to die. Catching him watching him one night, Eren had drawn his fears out, holding him as he snivelled pathetically in fear of losing his husband "I'm sorry" "It's ok. Birth is scary. I'm scared too... but we have a few hours. My contractions aren't that close yet. Now, come bath in my juices with me" "That sounds revolting" "You're lucky. I'm sure my mucus plug..." The colour drained further from Levi's face "I don't think I want to know" "Probably not..." It wasn't his fault they ended up going for it like rabbits in the bathroom. One minute he was crying and Eren was crying, then Eren was in his lap and crying for a different reason. The only small mercy was that he didn't knot his mate, instead he slipped out at the last moment and had to deal with his omega pouting at him over it, despite the fact he'd come twice as it was. Nuzzling into him, Eren sighed softly against his cheek "I need to shift soon. I won't be able to talk to you" "So soon?" "Mmm. My magic's already playing up" "I'm not ready for this. I don't know how to... what to..." "Levi, you're going to be great. We've talked about this, and it's going to be easier as a dragon. Remember? I told you I'll write if something's wrong" A sketch with a claws not writing. What if Eren couldn't change back...? "I don't think I can do this alone. I know you said to write to Historia, but... my alpha... I'm failure as mate" "You're not a failure. We know how screwed up instincts can be. I trust you. You're my husband and I trust you. Can you bring the boys out to sit for a while? After I've shifted? Luca can handle Viren, but I need to know they're both ok" "I..." He didn't know what to say. It was absolutely horrible. He adored his boys, but Eren was all he could think of "You can do this. You did this last time" "And you bled. You bled and you hurt for weeks..." "But I recovered. And look at Viren. Our baby. Every single day I thank the gods for him. I thank you for him. You're letting your fear do a me" "You're saying I'm spiralling?" "You are. It's time to get out. Can you bring the furs from our nest? I want your scent" "My scared scent?" "Your scent is still yours. You're going to get through this" "I'm supposed to say that to you" "We'll get through this, Levi. Just you wait until you see how many eggs you've knocked into me" Apparently there was a chance of unfertilised eggs having not been absorbed completely and may be birthed. Not that he was going to be able to the tell the difference. The nursery had been set up with a crib loaded with furs to settle their clutch into... but would one crib be enough? His mate wasn't... he hadn't seen his toes or his junk in the last 9 months... "You're spiralling. Here, I'm done soaking. Help me up" Luca disappeared the moment Levi opened the kitchen door to retrieve everything Eren had asked for. His breakfast still untouched, while Viren had enjoyed himself by the look of it, his mashed apple smeared across the boy's face, hands, arms... the floor. The cupboard... Luca had obviously helped their toddler with the mess, before abandoning him to take all the blame, and leaving Levi to clean it all up. If Eren saw the mess, he'd probably break down into tears then try to clean it all up instead of fussing over where he wanted to give birth. The stables hadn't been Levi's first choice. He'd wanted Eren in a soft bed, warm and safe... then his omega pointed out that he needed to be in his dragon form, and that he'd lost control of his magic last time and that he liked their small cottage in one piece, and he'd folded like a deck of cards as he agreed to everything Eren wanted. Anything to get him through this alive and safe... even if it cost them the clutch in the process. Making it outside, Eren was sitting on a bail of hay, Luca standing next with him. Viren running to his brother, rather than his mother as he realised his best friend was right in front of him "Sorry. Daddy gave him mashed apple when he should have given him anything else" "It's fine. It gave Luca and I a chance to talk. He's scared, but he doesn't want to leave me. He's such a sweet boy" "He is. Now, I have all the blankets you want. Where should I place them?" "I was thinking of laying down with my head on the hay. I'll be on my side, so it'll be better to have them near my nose" "And you're going to shift soon?" Eren nodded "Yeah. It might help with the contractions too. I didn't miss them" "I... are you sure? So soon?" "Levi, I'll be ok. Luca won't leave my side, he's made that clear. When the... birth actually starts, he's going to play his part by watching Viren" It was his job to be by Eren's side. Luca was his damn son, not their baby sitter. He shouldn't have to be strong for his baby brother and his father who was having a miniature breakdown over Eren being so pained and in such a vulnerable position. Headbutting Eren lightly, Luca started licking at his cheek as Eren wrapped his arms around him "Ok. Yes. You're staying with me. Mummy isn't making you go away baby boy, and at the end of this, you're going to have more siblings to play with. You and Viren. You're my big baby boy, and I'm so proud to be your mother" Crying as Luca turned his attention away from him, Levi placed the bundle of furs down beside Eren so he could scoop their toddler up "Are you sure you're going to be able to communicate if something does go wrong?" "Yeah. Luca will know too. Come give me a kiss before I shift" Leaning down, Levi tried not to be jealous of Luca being in the way. Kissing his husband, he rested his face against Eren's "I'm not ready" "I can't exactly say no and try again later with this" "That's not what I mean. I want to talk to you. Hold your hand and rub your back. Know how bad it hurts and be with you" "I'm still me" That wasn't what he meant. Eren didn't sound happy with him, probably because he'd accidentally insinuated that dragons were too beastly to communicate "Message received. If you want to shift, go ahead. We'll be right here with you" "I know. Historia did say I should shift back pretty soon after I birth the last egg. I love you so much... and if it gets too much, or if my magic... if my magic is too much... take the boys and go" Tears rolled down Eren's cheeks. Levi feeling guilty for making his mate feel crappier when this was a real issue "I'm not going anywhere. Your magic won't hurt us" "I could bring the roof down on you" "And a freak storm could too" "Which would probably be my magic. I'm going to shift... before I end up crying even harder" "You're going to be ok" "Yeah... and we're going to have another pup or two..." "That are going to look just like you. With those pretty scales of yours" "No... I want them to look just like you. I love you" "I love you too. And I'm going to love them... whatever they look like" "You're making me cry" Like Levi wasn't also an emotional wreck "I'm sorry, Sweet Boy. You shift and get comfortable. I'm not going anywhere" * Eren's labour continued into the night. His husband panting as his contractions grew worse. Luca refused to leave his side, even for bed time. Their son insisted on laying with his nose against Eren's, licking, chirping softly, and nuzzling each time Eren would huff if pain, while Levi had a large clawed foot resting on his leg. He couldn't hold Eren's hand, so it was the closest he could be and the best he could do as he tried to keep Viren preoccupied. Forced to leave to given Viren his dinner and settle him in bed, he couldn't give two fucks about the mess he'd left out by his husband. Viren's lunch, three nappies, his lunch that he was forced to make after Eren glared at him when he returned without food. He'd also glared at him when Levi's horse had come wandering over, reminding them both that the alpha hadn't closed the gate, or moved the animals to the other end of the barn. Still. He didn't like leaving. He'd nearly missed being there as it was, sure he would have returned around sunset, yet Eren had been terrified over everything and he'd only been gone a good half hour to an hour tops that morning. He wouldn't have been able to even hold his husband before he shifted, nor sooth his worries, though Eren did most of the soothing. As the night progressed, the temperature dropped. Eren nuzzling at Luca until Luca finally headed into the house, the look on his face clear that he'd be back out the moment the sun rose. Finally alone with his omega, Eren whined softly, calling him closer. Moving to stand between his husband's front leg and saddle, Eren shifted again, trying to rub against him in his own dopey way "How do you feel? Can I get you anything?" His mate had barely drunk any of the water he'd brought from the well for him. Shaking his head, he shifted shakily onto his stomach "Hey, are you close? You need to be resting" Whining, Eren rolled back, nudging at him with his leg "You want me to check?" Huffing like he was relieved Levi finally got the message, he placed his hand on Eren's side as moved towards his slit. He hadn't thought about adding to the glowstones on the outer side of the barn, and regretted that Eren had to give birth in the dark with all the light and warmth of the house illuminated mere metres away. The first thing he noticed was Eren's dick. He'd forgotten how massive it was in his dragon form, and because his husband hadn't exactly had it hanging out with the kids around "You're horny? Is that it?" Huffing and rolling again, that was definitely it. He shouldn't be as surprised as he was. Eren had been a horny mess during the first clutch. Sliding his hand down, he skipped his mate's neglected dick, instead running his hand along Eren's opening. With his hand so close and intimate, he could feel the almost back to back ripple of his lover's strong muscles "You're close... it won't be long now" Thumping his tail, Eren didn't want to hear it "I feel like you're trying to tell me that if I don't make you cum, you're going to use your breath on me" When Eren didn't reply, Levi laughed softly "I told you'd I'd give you whatever you want and need" Lapping and sucking at the soft flesh of his mate's clit, Eren's tail was thudding as he huffed and groaned, wriggling against Levi's mouth as the alpha thoroughly pleasured him, he knew by the weak way Eren tried to trust he was close, his rhythm shot completely and his pace exhausted yer desperate. With the kids taking up so much of their time, and settling in, making their home a home and organising the farm, then the random visits from Isabel and Farlan and few from Mikasa and Armin, and, Ymir, Historia and their girls, the only them time they really got when was the kids were sleeping or busy, and there wasn't space enough in their room for Eren to shift. He wasn't sure he knew what he was doing, but Eren was enjoying it, and his mate tasted amazing... so it was kind of a win. Sucking harder, Eren threw his head back hard enough to shake the barn, his dick spasming as cum gushed to join the wet puddle beneath the spent organ. Pulling back with a smirk, he tried not to laugh at his mate. His own arousal a smouldering mess he wasn't sure what to do with "Good?" Thudding his tail weakly, Levi's ego was stroked by the affirmation. Mindful of the puddle, he moved back to Eren's soaked opening, slipping his hand in deeper this time to essentially "finger" his dragon, he could feel their eggs, so close to being birthed but again there was nothing he could do but wait, hoping that massaging the muscle wasn't actually making it feel even worse for his exhausted love. It was about 2 hours later that Eren finally birthed their first egg, a long and pained whine as the emerald egg slowly slid from him. Levi wincing at the size of the thing, easily as big as Luca's egg had been at time of his hatching and enough to make him nearly regret impregnating Eren by accident. Setting the egg down carefully, the second that slid out in the connecting... grossness?... he didn't know what to really call the bloody mucus, was smaller and plain green. Exactly the same as Eren's lifeless clutch. His heart dropped as the third egg was the same. Eren panting softly, despite the pain Levi could feel through their bond. His mate was trying his hardest to be strong, though his lungs must be giving him grief with the cold air, uncharacteristic of a spring night. The rest of the eggs came much more slowly than the four. The 6th another brilliant green egg, freckled with speckles of grey across the surface, yet the rest remained an empty clutch until they reached the last, the 9th egg a smaller egg than the previous two, Levi nearly placing it aside with those that were lifeless until he noticed that it shimmered grey under the light. Passing the birth, it took his husband half an hour before he took his human form again. Wrecked and dripping with sweat, Eren was barely conscious as Levi gathered him into a thick blanket, his mate trying to reach for their eggs as nasty coughs began to bubble. Nuzzling Eren's hair, he was forced to make the call. Eren needed warmth now, and to rest somewhere that wasn't a dirty and disgusting barn "You did so good. Three good eggs baby. Three. I'm so proud of you. So proud" Carrying his mate into the living room, he laid him down carefully in front of the fire place, Eren crying out weakly as Levi moved away from him "I'm going to get out clutch. Our beautiful clutch, and I'll be right back. You want to see our clutch, don't you?" Nodding wearily, Eren's eyes were sliding closed as he did "I'll be right back, beautiful boy. I'm so fucking proud of our family" He was crying. He couldn't help it. Three perfect eggs. Eren had given him three more children. He couldn't be happier or prouder. Returning with their eggs, Levi placed them down beside Eren, rousing him by cupping his husband's face. Exhausted green eyes blinking up at him questioningly "I've got our clutch, Sweet Boy. I thought you'd want to see them" Needing assistance, Eren's eyes filled with the same love and wonder he'd have for both Viren and Luca "I am so proud of you. You rest my love. I'll clean everything up" Like Eren's blooded thighs and arse. He prayed some of Eren's magic had healed things down there, but as he moved his mate to make preparations, he found him torn and bloodied. Not quite as badly as Viren, but enough to make his heart ache. This time they'd wait. Eren would go back onto contraceptives, and they'd wait for the time they were ready for another child, if they were ever really ready. They'd never planned for five children. Five small mouths to feed and five tiny personalities they'd be responsible for the rest of their lives. Though Eren was happy now, there was no way to tell if he'd feel that way with nightly feeds, nappies and long nights ahead of them. He could only pray this didn't break his husband or send him spiralling into a drop or melancholy episode that he couldn't recover from. He could only pray that he wouldn't lose his memory further, and wind up another "child" to his husband. He was so fucking proud of Eren. So proud the omega was his forever. And so beyond proud and relieved that only three eggs had been viable. Despite the exhaustion he felt, his primary concern was still Eren. Cleaning Eren carefully and applying ointment to the wounds, Levi moved him from in front of the fire to their bed. A fresh kettle of boiling water positioned so the steam rose into Eren's face to ease his breathing and coughing. Outside the sounds of a storm had begun to rage, the day the perfect kind for spending in bed, even if that hadn't been his intention all along. With their clutch wiped down and placed carefully into folded blankets it sat with the other eggs Eren had birthed, across from the omega so they'd be the first thing he saw once he woke. The bleeding between Eren's legs had eased, yet each cough seemed to expel a little more, so he'd left the towel there, knowing Eren would be embarrassed once he woke. Settling down beside his husband, Levi couldn't take his eyes off of him. So in love he wasn't sure love described his feeling anymore. They'd been through far too much to make it here, yet there was no place he'd rather be for the rest of his life. He didn't miss the castle like he probably should. He didn't miss the people like he probably should. He didn't miss the riches like he probably should. This was all thanks to Eren. As long as he had his husband by his side, he could do absolutely anything. * Propped up in bed, Eren was tender. He was sore in all the wrong places, and he was exhausted beyond words, yet he was happy. Beside him Levi had fallen asleep holding his hand, his head resting on the omega's shoulder exactly how he'd been when he'd been talking softly with him over their clutch. Three eggs. Two painfully large and a smaller third that had him worried for their child, but all of which intact and that was the main thing. He'd unexpectedly birthed 6 more eggs, which was upsetting to see given they could have been potential lives, yet relieving as hell given three eggs was equal parts ecstasy and stomach dropping fear. Curled around their clutch was Luca, who looked as proud as Levi and Eren both felt. Viren didn't understand that mummy was tender, so his son was sitting in his lap, nearly reducing him to tears but he couldn't let him go. This was his family. His crazy hectic family that had just grown by three more. Kissing Viren's hair, his pup was nearly asleep too. When Viren has started crying Luca had led him into their room. Levi climbing out of bed to clean their son up after he'd wet the bed, then feed him before returning him all smiles and giggles, both of them handing Eren a glass of water which he downed gratefully. Listening to the rain against the roof, he hoped the small and quiet moment wouldn't end. This is what his mind needed far more than walls of the castle. A solid floor with no dungeons or cells beneath. A roof over his head and ridiculous over the top love and pride for his family. Levi was apologetic when he woke, quick to lift Viren off his aching stomach as he scolding him for not waking him earlier. His poor husband had had to suffer through helping him birth their clutch, he deserved some kind of medal for his patience. Or at least a long holiday away. Preferably one where someone would wait on Levi like Levi was him. He felt bad knowing he'd be even more useless until his body healed and his magic returned, yet Levi was acting like all his demands were completely natural. Like he hadn't turned into some kind of hormonal monster obsessed with his dick more than his feelings for the last month or so. He didn't deserve such a wonderful husband. Despite Levi warning him not to push himself, Eren was never great at bedrest. Insisting that he needed to get up, he stubbornly refused to admit the idea was terrible as he shuffled through the house to the toilet, regretting every life choice once he'd sat. He regretted it even more when it came to cleaning up then shuffling back through the house to the kitchen where Levi was preparing what had to be dinner by now. Refusing to let him help, Eren retrieved the note pad and pencil he kept for jotting down things they needed from town to pen his letters to Historia, and Armin and Mikasa. All three of them were going to be mad at him for going into labour early. Historia was excited to be there for him. Freya just as excited for him, writing shortly after they'd moved out of the city. She'd been amazing when he'd been forced to set foot in Marley again, then stay for the month in the manor he loathed so much in order to sort things with Asana and Onyankopon. Both wonderful people, but not quite sure how to handle him when each room held nothing but pain for him. Handing the throne over had been cathartic. To be finally free of its shackles completely had taken weeks to set in. Yet the thing that had truly healed his heart on the past was when Levi took him to visit Zeke's grave. His husband simply announcing one morning that he needed to borrow Eren for the day, then handed him a bouquet of red flowers that he "needed for when they reached their destination". Everyone had been so careful when it came to mentioning Zeke around him that he hadn't thought they'd approve of him visiting his grave, so for Levi to go that far for him, to let him sit and pour his guilty out to the man he'd been so briefly married to... he didn't think any other alpha in the world could do it. Keeping a distance so that Eren might have some privacy, Levi had told him he was proud of him once he was done, and to know that Dina hadn't disposed of Zeke like was garbage... he'd needed all of it. When he thought of the past, all he could think of was that it seemed like a dream now. He'd wanted so desperately to learn magic. He'd forcibly educated himself into a neat book induced coma so he wouldn't simply be a housewife. So he'd be an amazing mage that changed the future. He'd never thought he'd be here, being a housewife and being as ok with it all he was. He loved their little farm. He loved being simple and normal. He loved that no one stared at him or judged him, and he felt proud keeping their house organised. He wasn't living up to Erwin's wishes of him being Armin's advisor, but it wasn't like he wasn't Armin's go to man with most things. A letter between the castle and their farm only took an hour or so to arrive. Armin frequently writing back and forth a dozen times a day, sending eagle after eagle when Eren would take too long to reply. His friend having established the orphanage was well on its way had turned his eyes to Shinganshima. The place of so many painful memories for the three of them was to be rebuilt. Mikasa had led a small army to clean the city of those less than desirables, most driven to crime with the unstable economics, and most sent to work prisons on the west side of the island where the goal was rehabilitation and training. The not so hopeful side being that there were those past such methods. Armin had been forced to see his first hanging, something that had distressed them both greatly and ended up with Armin coming for a weeklong visit to get his legs back under him. Being the idealistic and loving fool he was, the block where their family homes had sat were to be turned into memorial parks. They could never take back those memories, but it felt right to remember the good times and to provide other people with similar happy memories there. Once the official opening came, they'd all be attending, but that was sometime away. The only thing Eren regretted was that he'd never known what happened to Grandpa Arlet's, his mother's or his father's bodies, and wasn't able to lay the three most important parental figures of his childhood to rest. Sighing to himself, they were all thoughts for another day and his instincts were demanding he return to his clutch, despite wanting to finish his letter and to help Levi. Jumping as surprise kiss was dropped upon his head, Levi then slipped his arms around him, resting his chin on the omega's shoulder "Everything ok?" "Mmm. Yeah. Just thinking about what we've been through to get here" "A metric fuck tonne?" "Pretty much. I want to go back to our clutch, but I also want to finish these" "Historia? And to Armin and Mikasa?" "Yeah... you should write to Hanji and then to Isabel and Farlan. They'll all want to know" Isabel and Farlan were considering moving out to live closer, but Armin didn't trust anyone else with keeping the game populations in check, begging them to stay an extra winter before they moved out to work remotely. They'd be living on the other side of the road that lead to Mitras, closer to thicker woodland once things had settled. They'd even found a cottage to rent from a farmer with a rat problem. Farlan hadn't seemed convinced, while Isabel was over the moon. Naturally, Isabel got her way. They'd be keeping the store in Mitras and dividing their time in a move Levi called "stupid" "They can wait. I'm making some clear broth for you, your stomach will probably appreciate it more than anything heavy right now" "You're amazing" "I'm really not" "You are. I've been thinking about it nonstop... I wouldn't be alive without you. I couldn't do any of this without you... I'm sorry I've placed so much responsibility on your shoulders" "You haven't. You're selling yourself short my love. Go rest, if our roles were reversed you would be doing all of this for me. I'll finish the letters and sign them from both of us" "Thank you. My instincts want to stay in our nest, but my mind..." "Is telling you to be an idiot by moving far too soon. Rest. We've got three beautiful children to think of, and three beautiful eggs to be proud of" Leaning back as Levi stood, Eren stared up as his husband's face with a smile on his lips "I love you" "I love you too. My omega. My mate. My husband. My dragon. My Sweet Boy and stubborn little shit" Snorting out a giggle, Levi silenced him with a kiss "Now go" "Yes, master" "Don't start that shit unless you want a whole other clutch" "Oh god. Nope. My everything down there is a big fat nope right now. I'm behaving" "That's a first" "It might also be a last..." "Gods give me strength. Why did I marry you again?" "My charming personality and wit?" Levi shook his head "No. It was your arse. Definitely your arse" Faking offence, Eren pushed himself up to stand, forcing Levi to move out the way before he was headbutted. His alpha raising an eyebrow at him as he tried to appear huffy "Do these breasts mean nothing to you at all?" Taking a moment to gawk at him, Levi covered his mouth as he laughed "Go to bed already, you shit. I'll be right in" "Good. I wouldn't want this arse to be lonely" Moving to hug him again, Levi was careful not to press against his stomach "Oh come here. You know I love every single part of you" "You're a god damned sap, Levi Ackerman" "Only for you" Kissing him gently, the shared three more before Eren broke off with a happy hum "Mmm. Best alpha ever"

[ahrva]

Hello there :3 sooo for the 40 question writing meme - how about 1, 7, 8, 9, 15, 31? ^^

Uh, fuck. This looks like a long one folks lol

1. Describe your comfort zone—a typical you fic.

If I'm reading a fic, my go it tends to be hurt/comfort. But if I'm writing, it can really vary with my mood and the vibes that are going though my brain. Though I've found the words tend to come out a bit easier if I'm not focused on making them for any one thing.

7. Share a snippet from one of your favorite pieces of prose you've written and explain why you're proud of it.

This actually isn't from a fic, it's from a short original story I wrote for school once that I'm still really proud of.

It didn't take long for then to find out that it wasn't all that big compared to most of the rivers that had been sent up over the decades. It was only about a quarter a size of their cruiser, being right around the same size as an early 21st century golf cart. Half an hour later, they were able to get it out.

Stepping back, they all took a long look at the price of history that they had just uncovered.

The 'face' they had seen sticking out of the ground before was made up of what looked to be old fashioned cameras attached to other sensors. There were also long since broken solar panels covered in dirt and dust on its back. Many of the wires that connected the different parts were either exposed in some way, or snapped all together.

The most surprising this about it though, was the fact that it was still mostly intact. Sure the solar panels had been cracked and even broken off entirely in one place, and the wheels where bent and out of place, but it was still mostly in one piece.

In case you aren't able to tell, this is from a short story that's supposed to take place a hundred or so years into the future. Humans have made a base on Mars to try and do more research, and while they are there, they manage to find Opportunity.

The story itself is only around 1300 words, and looking back on it, it could use some major editing in parts. Over all, I feel like this part holds up very well.

A good chunk of the reason why this one would have to be my favorite, would be due to the subject matter in it. I've always been a bit of a space nerd, and at the time I got the assignment that I wrote this for, we had also been going over the different Mars rovers in another class, so it was right there in my mind. This is just one shot little story that, I really hope does come to be one day, that sometime in the future, we'll find Oppy again.

8. Share a snippet from one of your favorite dialogue scenes you've written and explain why you're proud of it.

This one is just a random little snippet that currently lives in a random bit doc I have, since I don't really have anything else to go with it atm

"If you had the chance, would you do it differently?"

"Hm?" Legend looked over at Link.

"If you woke up again on the night it all started," Link clarified what he was asking his other self, "with all the memories of what you've gone through, would you have done it differently than you did before?"

Legend looked up at the sky and thought for a moment.

"Honestly? I don't think I would. Knowing what would await the poor sap that fell into the role of the hero, I would be able to stay in bed and let someone else go though all that . Even if it meant Uncle would still be around for me."

This one, I'm not to sure where I had been going when I wrote it down, but this bit of dialogue just lives rent free in my head most the time.

The context of it is supposed to be that, Legend from Linked Universe is meeting a version of himself, that never had to go on any of the adventures Legend went on. No turning into a Pink Bunny, no traveling to other countries, no Koholint, no Ravio, no any of that. And just, Legend seeing how different he his because of it. I'm thinking that he's not too different than he would have been, but there are some noticable differences.

9. Which fic has been the hardest to write?

Might be easier to ask which hasn't been the hardest to write /lh

Out of all of them, I'd have to say Clipped Wings has been one of the hardest. I have most all of it planned out and everything, I just can ever get myself to work on it and get it done. Same with Dealings with the Fae

With some of my other ones, it's more just because I'm not to sure where exactly I'm going next with them. Or I know where I want to go with them, but there's still that nasty middle part that I happen to be on.

15. If you could choose one of your fics to be filmed, which would you choose?

What it Means to Start Over No question about it. It's still just a wip, but it's one I absolutely love where I'm going to be going with (once I actually get to write the good parts).

Out of my finished works though, I'd have to say Phantoms in the Night takes that price. The main premise of that one is based off of a part of Phantom Hourglass that for years I thought was really in the game, only to find out that it wasn't. Even if it was only just to have that one little bit that I can still see so clearly in my head play out in front of me.

31. Do you take liberties with Canon or are you very strict about your fic being Canon compliant?

That can really depend with what I'm doing. I tend to like sticking to Canon, it gives me a good base for working with stuff. Other times, I will throw Canon out of the window because I don't like it and I have stuff that will work better.

Anyhow, thank you for the ask! And sorry for the long post of you made it this far lol.